I have just been reading posts....it has been four months now...xmas is next week...I backslid and asked H to come over with his son on xmas day for dinner. He said thanks for the invite but that he already had plans at his house that day and said maybe he could see D16 after xmas but that he did not have a gift for her because he is broke.
Unbelievable.....
So, I am pretty bummed about it. I'm not looking forward to next week. I have not even started shopping for presents. I had some unexpected expenses these past few weeks so money will be short to buy stuff. I have to wait until this Friday to do anything.
When does this stupid fog lift??? When do they wake up??
The divorce papers that he filed will be dismissed Jan. 1st because he did not serve me properly and he doesn't have the money to pay for a process server. His comment was "guess I will be married to you for a long time?"
I keep telling myself to wait until the 6 month mark which will be in February. Basically that is how long the first affair lasted. Not sure about this one......I think the OW is getting tired of all the financial problems he has. We will see....
I started my dance class though! It has been fun. I will be going to the school's holiday party tomorrow.
Just breathe.......
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Marisol! we will survive the holidays and thrive in the end. Can't believe that H has no money. Your right the Ow won't put up with that for long. My H is still spending money like water and getting into huge credit card debt. Did not stop him from taking her to San Antonio last weekend and spending $300 dollars for a hotel. Unbelievable. How long does the fog babble lift? I don't know but we hope sooner than later. Glad you are still DBing. Dancing and parties! you go girl.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hey Marisol, I am checking back here a few times a week but not daily as much as I did. Hope3343 has found me on Marriage Builders forum for SAA. I am Trying2Live on the SAA forum. Hope3343 is there too posting her story. Its under the infidelity section, general questions. Hope3343 kept the same name as well.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Hi Marisol, I know T2L is very active over in marriagebuilders site. I go over there but let me warn you now -- they are very agressive. I got reamed over there for not turning in my H and Ow at work which is true but man I got beat up! I told them I am not doing anything till I come back from visiting my family. How are you doing?
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Sorry, I've been gone. How are you all doing and dealing with Christmas? Update me y'all!
Not much new here, Plan B darkness of SAA 5 weeks strong. I have made no breaches in it. I dislike it, but feel really its necessary. Ya know there is a humbling that needs to happen in my H. I think the affair is only maybe 50-60 percent of it at this point. Now I think pride really will be what does our marriage in.
I do love the approach of SAA in that your not just waiting around for things to happen. Its much more proactive and comprehensive in approach as far as adultery is concerned. I do love DR tho in its approach of GAL'ing and 180 which I think is also very important while I am doing SAA.
Anyways whats new with everyone?
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Hey T2L, read up on "Mr tool time". does it ever end. Stay strong. I am packing to leave. Can't wait to get out of here. Especially after today. I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We fly back on 1/1 getting in at night. Sortva dreading the New Year but need to take some kind of action. In talking with H I could tell he has spoken to a L. Think he will get the ball rolling soon. I have taken some measures to protect myself financially. He has now hit his savings plan. Going through money like there is no tomorrow -- there might be the way he is going.
I know you and the kids will do fine. I know once I get there that it will be good. Just so stressed right now.
God bless and Merry Christmas. take care
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope Im really glad you are able to go away. Its going to be nice. Try not to think to much, there's not much more they can do that they haven't at this point ya know. But I am glad that you are protecting yourself financially. Any news from PI?
Try and really relax and enjoy your family. I heard someone tell me that going through this crap takes 5 years off our lives! Can you believe that?!?!
So try still stay active go for walks, find a yoga class and have fun.
Keep in touch, if you are able.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Hey you, still up. Just sent an exposure letter to OW's sister. I am getting brave. Said I know you can't do anything but wanted to let you know what about our family. Said they both knew what they were doing was wrong from both a work perspective and his family. Said they had no respects for themselves. I also told her that Paul had drinking problems and heard that OW had them also. Won't answer the phone for the next week! I will enjoy the family and not worry about this crap till after the New Year. I will find a yoga class. If this ages us five years I am in deep doo. Can't afford 5 years at this point of my life! lol I will give you a call at some point. Keep your family close. take care and God bless.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I am in the 4th month now. Still going back and forth with saving our marriage or letting go.
I started a thread here about exposing him or not. He sent me some pretty explicit pics on my cell last week and I wanted some feedback on whether or not to send them to OW. I got some response but not as much as I had hoped. Some said expose some said to just walk away. I have not done anything because I wanted to wait until after the D petition is dismissed on 1/1.
I also found out that he got in contact with his first affair partner. So basically he is talking with the first OW, me, and has the second OW believing he is totally in love with her. It is just sickening....it wasn't until I found out he was talking with the first OW that I realized my H truly has a serious problem. I don't know if it is mental or emotional but he needs help for what he is doing.
Part of me wants so badly to expose and send those pics to the second OW not only so she can taste what it feels like but also for him to just stop this behavior. I can't say that it will and it may end all contact with me if I do but he truly has to stop using women like this. Life is not a game and you cannot be abusing people's feelings the way he is. I am sure the first OW thinks she has a chance with him now that he has left me. Then the second OW thinks he is all hers and then he sends me those text msgs wanting me to believe he is still interested in me. It is just plain wrong.
Every day I just pray that God will show me the way. That God will lead me down the right path and that this pain will end.
Taking 5 yrs off my life is not good! But I do believe the only way it does is if we let it.
T2L I am on my third private lesson for salsa dancing! It's so much fun!
Hope I wish you and your family a happy Christmas. Surrounding yourself with your family is wonderful. It will make you feel so much better. I know spending Thanksgiving with family was awesome. As for Christmas, it will be hard for us but we will get through it.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
