Hi I have been posting for several months now in Infidelity but 4 weeks ago i had a had a reality check and now i am REALLY separated.
2005 - i had an E/A and P/A on 2 occasions , same OM - I denied PA 2006 - h moved in and out of the house, tormented with the thoght I was lying. 2007 - H moved out to Apartement 2008 - April I admited PA and gave H full details of 8 month A - April H moved back home - H dad dies suddenly - August H moves out to his mothers We have much contact throughout this time. Wierd separation
4 weeks ago as I tossled H hair as he was leaving he told me he had been out with another W. I was devastated, still am.
I have had very little contact and consequently he has grown more and more distant. We share businesses and our paths do cross. I had a meltdown last Friday and was a mess. He came offered comfort and sex ( he could not ejac ).
I saw him again yesterday. He said 1. Feel horrible around you - BUT dont today for some reason 2. OW is just good company and has introduced me to new people. I know i can have sex with her anytime and when I do it will be use and abuse her. 3. Can promise you i wont fall in love again or trust anyone again 4. Damage to M was done due to lies. 5. Anyway right now I want sex with you not OW. He was hard 6. gives a hug and peck kiss 7. Lets get you on your feet again and I will see how I feel ? 8. Blah blah blah
And I took all this. I hurt like mad. I feel physically sick. I CANNOT stop obsessing about this OW. I am soooooo lost. I ma on sleeping tablets for sleep, St Johns Wart for feel good. I do not eat and have lost so much weight. I am impatient. I struggle doing things on my own but I do put in a bit of effort.
I have 3 kids , all at home at the moment. All supportive but also self centred teenagers.
Is there a magic cure to letting go. i know I need to let go , to get back to me and be strong again. At least that way i will be attractive to someone eventually.
