Not exactly what I was hoping for. I gave it to him Monday evening, he read it and then promptly left the house for about an hour. I asked him about it this morning and he said I talked "down" to him in the letter. I asked him what part of it felt like that and he just said the words I used. I just can't win. He said that he definitely was not going to make his phone and/or cell phone bill available to me because he paid the bills and I just used that info against him! I asked him if he just found me gross and he said no; that he just doesn't want to be around me. And then, he asks me what I want to do after we have dinner with his mom. Do I want to just drive around and try to find businesses that are open? WTH, didn't he just tell me that he doesn't want to be around me?! I just don't get it. He said he moved back home because he missed being in our family, but he's still not "in" our family (which he agreed to). He doesn't want to work on our marriage, but has agreed to a separation instead of a divorce. He said he would move in with his mom by this weekend. I guess we'll see if he really goes there or back with OW. He says he will always be my friend and that if I ever needed anything, all I have to do is ask. Whatever, we can be civil for the sake of the kids but I cannot be his "friend"! As long as we aren't talking about us or our marriage, he talks to me cordially and friendly and that just drives me nuts!
If I understand the fog correctly, it still appears that he is deeeeeeeeep in a fog. And I am not handling it well at all.
Mo4- I haven't posted to you before, but that won't stop me from giving you my 2 cents.
First, I need to tell you that I think the concept of a "fog" is a lot of crap. I also have trouble with a lot of the self diagnosis of MLC. It is a rationalization for poor behavior. Call it what it is. He is deep into self centered, destructive behavior. It is all about him. Forgive my bluntness, but he is too selfish to see the impact he is having. Do you really want a friend who treats you this way? I have to think you can find friends who don't.
My advice to you is too look into yourself and decide what you want. If you want him as a "friend" great. If you want to try to save and improve your M, then my advice would be to go dark. Don't ask him for help, don't ask him for anything. Be strong. If you need help with something, go elsewhere (family,friends).
A wise and knowledgable DBer once told me that the most important thing to do is to quit worrying about what my xW was doing, thinking and take care of myself. I still have trouble with this time to time, but it is getting better.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Gosh, please don't apologize for being blunt. I actually appreciate it. Thanks for the response; most of what you said were the things I was actually thinking.
