How do I communicate with WAW who is "checked out"

[AlexEN]

Should I give up or is there any hope? WAWs can you comment on my sitch? I've made a million mistakes and am not ready to give up yet, but beginning to feel I've done all I can and situation is hopeless. Thanks...

AlexEN sitch

[christarn]

Alex....

First, I am sorry you are here....but welcome!

I am Christa, a WAW, fighting for my M. After 2 years of seperation and ups and downs, turns and twists...my H has decided we can try MC...WOW!!!

Don't give up, nothing is final until you sign on the line!

There is HOPE in hopeless!

Find strength within yourself. You have to be happy before you can make anyone else happy...work on GAL, doing things that once made you who "you are"....hope that makes sense. I am not trying to be hard....just truthful Let her see what she is missing out on....that is DB is all about. Do some really good 180's. Get a great haircut. Start going out some, working out...make her wonder!!! You can do this!!! No sitch is hopeless, no sitch is too hard to get back....read my thread "crazymess" and see how far VS54 has come....it's about the baby steps...and each one is a milestone!!!

Kudos to you for trying to save your M!!!! Let me be the first to say "I'm proud of you!"

(((((ALEX)))))

Christa

[christarn]

PS~

there really must be something in the water in IL!!!

where are you at??

I'm south of spfld!!!

hugs

[christarn]

and one more thing....you don't communicate...stop the chase...let her talk when she is ready!!!!!!!!!! <------ #1 rule

STOP THE CHASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dday101798]

and one more thing....you don't communicate...stop the chase...let her talk when she is ready!!!!!!!!!! <------ #1 rule

STOP THE CHASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Definately rule #1.

[AlexEN]

I'm west of Chi...

How do I not communicate, when we still sleep in the same bed?

Trying to figure out how I gave the impression I am still chasing; I don't think I am. The letter was nearly 10 months ago... That there's been no progress since then is what makes it seem futile. BTW, I really gave her her space during the summer, and with that she seemed to give herself even more
permission" to carry on an EA. Feels like I'm d'd if I do, d'd if I don't... Oh, well, my focus really is on me (and the kids) now. Getting along with them better than forever, but hate the lie that we're living in front of them.

[christarn]

have you read DB/DR

if not i would suggest doing that

then act as if....act as if nothing is wrong!!! Be the best you, you can be!!!

[dday101798]

Hey Alex, sorry you're here. There must be something in the water around here, I'm from Brookfield.

Definately try and isolate it from the kids as best as possible, sucks you feel you have to live a lie, my W just up and left and like a light switch my kids went from mam and dad, to mom dad and mom's OM. So it could be worse. Coming from a family situation just the same myself, I know what my kids are goign through and it sucks.

You have the vantage that she is still in the house and it sounds as though you're starting on the right path. Take care of yourself and post here, just don't beg, plead, cry, whatever, I know it's hard but, if you do, it'll only get worse.

[AlexEN]

DDay,

We live within minutes of each other!

-AlexEN

[AlexEN]

Cristarn,

You, at least, seemed to have some desire to at least believe your H could come around. My WAW believes that I have come around, but doesn't care. She's set on a divorce no matter the consequences. She says it was because she was just so "checked out" that no matter what changes I've made the damage has been done... Did you think or feel that way when you were WAW, or, more importantly, did you speak that way to your H?

Thanks,

AlexEN