Here's the first couple of paragraphs of my sitch...
Wow… I don’t even know where to start or in which forum. Have a WAW, but the issues seem to be so complex (infidelity, another EA, etc.). What I do know is that I’ve made mistakes, but, based upon what I’ve read on the site, the people who have gone through what I’m going through are probably the ones who are most likely to be able to offer me the best advice as I continue down this challenging path. I’m most confused by the whole idea of detachment, as that is a trait that my WAW says drove her away. Not sure how to walk that tightrope… If I stay detached, it proves her point. If I don’t, I’m flying in the face of one of the rules of DBing, aren’t I? I’ve listed some other questions I have at the very bottom of this essay (and I apologize in advance for its length). It has been an excruciatingly painful journey; one that I realize I was ill-prepared to face. My story is below (and it isn’t at all meant to bash my WAW; just to give background to my sitch. Believe it or not, I often find myself defending her, as I spent a lot of time trying to come to grips with how we got where we are. As I write below, one of the paradoxes is while I was mad about trivial things before all of this and held a grudge, now it’s difficult for me to even recall what I was so angry at her about over the years…)
My world has been turned upside-down for more than a year. There are more twists and turns to this story than I could imagine. If I weren’t living this, I wouldn’t believe it could be happening (in fact, if someone were to write this story, I would label it fiction – unfortunately, it isn’t), but I guess that’s the case for most of the people who find themselves here.
I wish I’d found these forums sooner as I think I’ve made a million mistakes, but I’m looking for any pearls of wisdom I can get from DBers and WAWs who can help me move forward and get out of this bad dream in which I am living… My world isn’t quite as dark as it was a year ago, but it still isn’t a world in which I ever thought I could be living.
My sitch, in a nutshell, but I tend to be long-winded (on this topic) as the biggest therapy I’ve found so far is in putting some of my thoughts to paper, is this:
