I think it is normal and natural to feel the way you do about the official end of your marriage. The D leaves little room for hoping. But mish your marriage has ended some time ago. You have been alone and coping damn well for many months now. If anything you are now stronger and you know you can do it. Take care of yourself, dont look back and look forward for the nice things life owes you. Love K
(((mishka))) You're amazing and I know you're going to be fine.
My favourite single life things (as you might imagine they're all flirting related)
1. You get to flirt with ANYONE you want to and don't have to feel guilty (think CG) 2. You can walk around with no knickers on and NO-ONE needs to know 3. Dont fancy waxing he bikini line? Don't have to
I should say that number 2 isn't something I often do, although maybe I should try it!
2. You can walk around with no knickers on and anyone you want may find out 3. Dont fancy waxing he bikini line? Don't have to unless you are meeting "anyone" (see above)
You are all completely amazing and so wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have found myself popping in here several times today and seeing your comments is making me smile and giggle outloud!
I would love to go out and have a drink tonight but I have no one to go with so alas, I'm going home to do more laundry and then take Marc to karate.
No knickers sounds VERY COLD!!!!
Flirting with anyone I want without feeling guilty would be nice but I'm just too darned shy to really attempt it and have ZERO confidence. Working on it.
Waxing????? YUCK!!!! I've never been able to even contemplate that. I'll be honest though, haven't shaved my legs since the temps dropped here and I had to stop wearing shorts. It is driving me crazy though so I'm going to have to take care of that.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I would love to go out and have a drink tonight but I have no one to go with so alas,
VOR again..
ya know I used to hate to go out alone after my 1st D..I made myself do it..and i made myself talk to people..even if I only talked to the bartender..at least I was meeting someone new..
so get out when you can..even if it's tot he local bar after work for a quick drink. it won't hurt a thing..The people watching aspect will be worth the time..people out there are funny..it's worth the laugh..
I'm going to be tactless and say "Congratulations!" You are going to have a great life. And I was pretty darn turned off by your X. His wimpiness combined with his so-insecure GF remind me just a little too much of XH.
I recommend you find a party tonight in a chat room and have a drink. DB doesn't have a chatroom anymore. But you might be able to find some friends nonetheless. If you look at the facebook dbers or at another site where some people hang out, you might be able to find some peeps to chat with. I think it is on Cat's current thread.
Finally, recognize how well you are doing. Think about the beginning of all this. If someone told you that on D-day you might "cry for an hour off and on" but otherwise functioning, doing chores, taking Marc to karate, and even smiling and laughing, would you have believed it? Yes, it hurts, but you aren't being buried by it. You can breathe. You can smile. You can think about tomorrow. You are doing great
Mishka, I would like to say congratulations also. I know that this is a difficult time, but you have to think of it as a new beginning. Wait until you see how wonderful it can be without all of the stress of being married to him anymore. I know that you still have to deal with him because you share a son, but you can limit that as much as possible, and in order to save your sanity, I recommend that you do limit the contact. I'm sure that you don't remember me.. I haven't posted since last January, but I check on you from time to time. My H left me 1 1/2 years ago for OW and we haven't even gotten a legal sepatation yet because he is soooo difficult and he won't agree with anything. Meanwhile he is still with the "broom" (that is a new word--don't remember THAT one from last year--I assume it means "witch" or the "b" word?!) and I have had to take him to court for support and custody-but no separation has happened yet. I think my bomb was before yours, but I am still dealing with all of this crap and it is such a waste of emotion. Meanwhile I have met the most wonderful man who is completely understanding of my situation and sooo patient. He does not have a mean bone in his body and makes this 46 year old mother of 2 feel sexy again and I am so grateful that God sent him to me. I am not a very religious person, but I do believe that He had a huge hand in this. I think it is true-"everything happens for a reason". So, be patient-get yourself out there-join a group of some kind-even lurk on a dating website-because you never know. Don't dwell on what could have been--enjoy what is to be! Good luck. I'll check in with you again! Ginger
Me:45 H: 45 M: 14 yrs T: 16 yrs D's: 7/11 Bomb: June '07 Moved out: Sept.'07
I didn't realize this was today, either. You know that I know that feeling that you had today... and while you will have your ups and downs, you also should see that the downs will space themselves out farther and farther, and they will be less and less deep as time goes on.
I know that you just started these jobs (both of them? can't remember...), but see if you can take a mental-health day from both of them, just one day - and do something just for you, for the entire day. Something that you have been putting off. And maybe something for someone less fortunate. You can see about visiting a shut-in (my church keeps a list of people who could always use visitors). Do one random act of kindness. Stop at the pound and see if you can walk a dog.
You know how to reach me, and you can call whenever...
