. the accounts are seperate but i still pay for the insurance and the cell
. she might have a boyfriend, and when we ran into eachother the first week of Oct she now has friend who she hasnt tld she is married
. we had dinner last sat. we laughed and talked for 45 in when she asked if i was dating a certin girl because she herd I wss. I told her she is a friend ad infact she coud takto her the only woman i want in my life is my W.
. since this has all started W has told me 3 times she was going to file, but she hasent. I am very afraid she is waiting for me to file so she can contiue to blaim me for this. she acts single.
just a update. I am so very lonley. i have male and female friends who i spend time with, but I wake up a lot latley and feel the loss of the one I wanted to grow old with and have afmily and I feel a hole, even after 11 moths.I want t changeur dynmic, but I dont knw how.
I called her tonight. I asked for our tax info and a copy of the credit card statements. She asked me what was wrong and I told her nothing. She told me she knew me better then anyone, and she knew I sounded serious. I told her I wanted to talk about our taxes, and about the cell phone. Folks DBing has me second guessing myself all the time. I dot want to bring up a R talk but after 11 months I would like to clean up financial loose ends. She keeps telling me that she feels like since she moved out, she has had to buy a lot of new stuff, and that she feels she has had to foot an undo burden. I will DB, and give her the vacuum now and the printer, they are just thing I can buy new anyway. I just don’t want to be looked on as a bank, or a store. When I brought up taxes, she asked how I wanted to file, because we were not divorced. As I said before she has threatened 3 times now to file. But she hasn’t. Please I ask a wiser DBer then I for input.
hon, Marcum, you are trying to keep her married to you by not cutting off the finances, all that gets you is her going on shopping sprees and living it a 'la single. You should be tying up financial ends, lots of good DBers her got screwed royally by not taking care of themselves in an attempt to not rock the boat.
I understand now that it is harder on men, despite telling me how he had to learn to live alone and not depend on someone stbx has gotten himself a gf, despite that he is still a mess and that ow's mess was just 3mins ago. With that i will tell you that you have to train your brain to move on, the good peaceful feelings wont' come unless you conjure good and peaceful feelings first thing in the morning. I used to get up and if I saw a beautiful day through my window I'd hurt and think "it's a day I could've enjoyed with him", it was like that week after week. Then I forced myself to think every morning "what a beautiful day! I will enjoy it and have a great day!", and guess what? eventually my heart caught up, I changed my brain paths from negative to positive. We all make grooves in our brains with either positive or negative thoughts, negative thoughts are easier to come up and harder to get rid of, but it can be done, you can retrain your mind to stay positive. To claim your life back and be happy with who Marcum is what a good person you are, someone who has lots to bring to the table. Prayers your way friend))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
thanks Cat. I still will giver the printer and vacum because hey I get new ones and they are both a couple of years old. Pluse it lets me squash her " anger" by just saying OK your right now why are you made again? lol I will start looking to new days. The money thing is so damn hard as it realy sets a line in the sand. It seems dbing and acting as if kind of prohibits saying " Look your being creedy, YOU left YOU get to live by this desision. This is all part of the breaking up process, were I will not be so nice to you because you desided to leave our marrage."
Completely goes against your intincts, doesn't it. But, look at it this way, if you do end up divorced, are you going to say, "I got to keep an awesome vaccuum." or will you say, "I was the better person, and she has no reason to hate me. I took the high road."
Will the vaccuum matter 5 years from now? You're integrity will.
Now, why are you doing taxes so early?? Shoot, I like to wait til April 14.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
well it will be a year in two weeks. I talkesd to a friend and she said next time I see my wife, and she brinks up the " I dont want to be married to you" speech out yet again I should ask her why she hasent D'ed me yet. I am trying a new tunnel I guess with that one because the passive, nice guy tunnel has just lead me to almost a year of sepperation were I give in to her demands and she doestnt ever call me unless she wants something. And now I hear she is living with a guy, who dosent even know she is married.
it's hard to deal with a selfish person who's only looking to make herself feel good and the devil with everyone else. Give you self a limit of how long you are going to put up with this otherwise you'll be in limbo hell while she has her head up you know where.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
well we will be meeting tonight. SS sent a letter to my house because they still have the old address. She still dosent want me top drop it off as " Iam still not comfortable haveing you know were I live". She keeps forgetting I am a cop and can easyly find her if I want, but I never have tried. It just seems so counter productive to play into any sterio type, but she wont give me even that much credit. O well its probably mecause the OM is there,
IO have given myself a limit Cat. by Jan I am done. a year of this is to long and we have made NO headway.she acts like I was a boyfriend she broke up with and not a husband. like I said before she has friends who dont even know she is M or infact EVER M. that just fills me with pity.
