Hello All....I've been away....trying to pull myself together and waiting for the paternity results.... Well....I found out about an hour ago that my H is the father of the love child....I can't put into words the heartache, the pain, the sadness I feel....I'm so lonely....H has known a few days but decided to keep that from me until he was ready to tell me also...again...over the phone cause he can't face me....I immediately started crying...sorry folks but my world has been slowly crumbling around me...to make a long story short...H has to appear in court next month..(Merry Christmas to us)..I said you know you will have to start paying child support and he said, "well, lets wait and see what happens...it's not her fault we have to go to court",I said, "WHAT??", "why do you think she filed?. what world is he living in?? Seriously...he is so far out of touch with reality its not even funny...he sounded like it was just another day....I did tell him this news crushed me and he said, "I know, Treese"...no I'm sorry, nothing....he said he doesn't talk to the mother of the child....for Heaven's sake he works right next to her....I am sick to my stomach....I've been crying for 2 hours....I'm lonely...I want a hug....I want to curl up in a corner and not come out....I want to run away...I'm exhausted...worn out...I have no strength left....
Then, last evening my D16 was in a car accident...she wasn't driving but the car was thrown up against a wall and it was her side that hit...she is pretty banged up but she will be okay I think...wet roads caused her friend to slip into another car and be bounced off into the wall....I did not call H last night..I felt why...he wouldn't answer his phone...I dealt with it on my own....
Tonight I have to work a football game at school....my nerves are shot....but at least I will get out of the house for a while...then I will come home to an empty house...s11 went with H for the night....I may call a friend....
Well, gotta run for now...more later....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. I do hope she'll be feeling better soon. I'm sure she was pretty banged up. No whip lash?
Sounds like going to the football game will take your thoughts off the situation that you are facing for a brief period of time. Call a friend when you get home. You do not need to be alone this evening.
About your h, he's living in a fantasy world. He's in denial no matter what he says and he's going to get a rude awakening next month. I'm very sorry that the results were positive and he is the father.
I'm praying for you and your family and I do hope that a silver lining in the clouds above will soon open up and bring you some resolution to all of your problems. Treese, take care of yourself. Now, more than ever, you will need to find a way to focus on your children, home, and your life. He's going to have to figure out what he needs to do and soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Treese, I don't really know what to say except that I feel so bad for you and everything you are going through. I do think you need to get some supportive RL companionship for the evening. You are in my thoughts and prayers...
Peace and blessings, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
T Sorry for your pain.. Im so glad your D is ok Hopefully the game will be a brief distraction fot thr positive then just take care of your self..you have been through a lot as we all have-you are strong and hopefully better things will appear for you on the other side of the mess peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Treese, I am so sorry you are still having to face all this. Maybe "knowing" will possibly ease some of the uncertainty. Maybe H didn't react in quite the way you would have expected because in his heart he already knew the results, who knows. Nothing that can be done now as the child is here and has been for what 8 years. It's hard I know but try to focus on your children, particularly your d, I hope she gets well soon btw. There is absolutely nothing you can do about your h at the moment,so put your energies into things you have control over. I hope you get a friend over you really need some help and support in RL right now. Hugs to you,take care.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
First, thank God your daughter is alright. What a blessing!
I am so sorry to hear about the paternity results. Yep, when he goes to court, he will be in for a rude awakening. Imagine what he will have to pay in child support beginning with day 1 of that child's life unless the courts are more lenient.
I am praying for you.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi Everyone & thank you all for the support...I truly need it..
I really have been crying off and on since yesterday...can't help it...just thinking about what this is going to do my my own sitch.....back child support could be huge....and affect the rest of my life....he still thinks the judge will have to let him survive and get a place of his own and live happily ever after with all his kids and his girlfriend...huhhhh....
Truth all.....I'm so scared....afraid of what is going to happen to my children and myself...my D16 asked yesterday if we were going to have to move...I hope not....this is our home and its perfect for us....even though things here still remind us of H...we can't go anywhere else for the money....
things around here will change....and WTF? H will still have his life that he says he's happy in...cause he will not be affected...he'll still get to see his kids....have a roof over his head and see his girlfriend....it's getting old real fast...
when H came to get son yesterday he came in and acted like it was another day...I was a mess...he knew it...I couldn't hide it...I know it was bad but geezzz....I knew it was probably his but it the paper....the truth....D16 says she wants to meet him...I can't do it right now....told her her dad could take her...she says, "mom, he is a pity child,it's not his fault, he has no father", again she is right....I think God is speaking to me through her...really....she comes up with some things that even I need to listen to....
I had to take her to the ER this morning because she was still hurting and her jaw was bothering her...I just wanted to have them look her over and make sure everything was ok....and it was...she will be super sore for the next week but will recover....
Today, I just keep going over things in my head of the past we had...the fun...the memories and 9 years of lies....wow.....
But....stupid me still loves the jerk....he has my heart and always will.....I hope some day I can love again...and have someone love me....its what I pray for...I deserve to give it and receive it....I gave it all 125%.....I stood, I prayed, I did it all.....but yes sometimes there are unanswered prayers...maybe my H and I have to divorce in order to start again...and maybe not...he knows I love him....he knows I will forever....that's not a question he would even ask...he just tells me to get past it...he's not coming home...
When I told him a few weeks ago that he promised to grow old with me...he said, "I am old"...kind of sounds like MLC, don't ya think....
Christmas is going to be rough but I will just hold on to my children and thank God for them....they are the innocence here..they don't deserve to have to go through all this....I will do my best to make it memorable....
So, thanks to all of you for getting me through this...I have a long road ahead of me....please pray for us....
(((hugs)))
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
