I'm hurting so much right now I don't know where to start. I am looking for help and support. My H has left before but only for one night. This time it has been three so far. We have a DD4. We've also had problems from the beginning, in large part due to some negative traits of his which cause me to pull away and then cause us to have a SSM which makes everything worse. This time, sx was getting back on track but we had a lot of stressors this past week and that often sets him off. Also, for the second time in our M, he's having an EA with an old gf in another state. She is now divorced.
I am a pursuer. I tried talking to him once and he hung up on me. He text me that he would like to have our DD this weekend. I replied I'd like to talk. Silence. I'm not feeling too keen on that idea.
I've read all of WMD's books but I don't know where to start. I want to reason with him, but when he is like this he is irrational. I don't want to do anything to make it worse. Any and all advice is welcome. We've been together a total of 6 years and married for most of that. He is in the age range for MLC but I don't think that is what this is. He has always struggled btw wanting to be married and wanting to be single.
I've always been the "fixer" in this relationship but I'm not sure that is the right thing to do here. I'm also wary of talking to him b/c the last couple of times he pushed my buttons and brought out my hurt which causes me to get defensive and not always say the best things. I want to call him right now but I came here instead. Last night I missed him so much - just the whole family and marriage part, his presence. He's carrying so much anger and resentment right now, I don't know how to make things better. Please help.
Thanks RMG. He did return over the weekend, but his staying is tenuous. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I tried to talk about EA and he erupted. We've had a SSM for a while for several reasons. I've tried several things to correct it, but it never seems to stick. Today I am shaking with anxiety. I watch my DD and my heart breaks for what a D would do to her.
