Mr.Sparks happened to show old Dan he has a heart after all.
At one time I thought that when I was 'touched" by things I saw or read that it was all "hooey". I finally figured out, after a while, being touched emotionally was ok and part of who I am..of course I would have never said the word "hooey" and would have used horsechittt instead I think..
maybe old Dan is figuring out a thing or two...of course with some C help he could have his eyes opened..
continue on..I still think you are doing quite awesome..
I liked the part about the 80/20 rule, which suggests that you get 80 percent of what you need from your spouse. If you cheat on her to go after the other 20 percent, you will lose the 80 percent that's working.
I have not seen Why Did I Get Married? but may have to rent it...
I found a site with quotes from The Notebook this morning. I sent this one to Dan--
Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!
Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie: It's not that simple.
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
I said to him, "This is one that stuck with me, what stuck with you?"
His reply came in less than 10 minutes: "All of it"....
I replied back thanks for sharing, and then I changed the subject because I didn't want him to read me as being pushy. And he has sent me another e-mail since then about something unrelated, so I know it didn't scare him off. But I am very glad I reached out and he answered me...
I may have been silent but keeping up with you. This new path you are taking is a good one. You are growing and are making good decisions now stay as you are as Mike said Awesome.
You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers daily...
Today is a little rough forme. I am ambivalent again about what my next step should be. I hate being ambivalent, I want to be sure of myself.
We got an e-mail from the principal an hour or so ago....seems that one of our third grade kiddos lost his dad overnight to a heart attack....just six weeks ago a first grade boy lost his dad to a blood clot after a knee surgery
This just gets me all rattled inside. How can Dan (and, in turn, I myself) live in this limbo state for so long? Life is going on all around us.
His mom and dad both have cancer, who knows what will happen with them?
My dad suddenly took two days off of work yesterday to drive to Colorado to see his cousin, who was raised almost like a sister to him, because after 10 years of fighting she is now losing her battle with cancer....
Two little boys have lost their dads in the past 6 weeks. They can never get time with their daddy back.
Now don't get me wrong dan spends time with the kids, they are going swimming tonight while I am at night class, he is a good dad. But to be living in such a conflicted state, you can't TRULY be living your life, I don't think....IF either of us were to leave this earth tonight from some random tragedy, I think we would BOTH regret how much time has been WASTED just thinking/analyzing/worrying........
I just want to beat him over the head, tell him life is too short to live in a self-imposed state of indecision.........
I have had the same thoughts. (BTW, I have left instructions to people to let you guys know "I am gone" etc etc...) I have told my H your words exactly more than once the last 10 months. It didnt work... Maybe my dad's sickness did.
Life is short, we should be happy!! Now, where does that lead us ?(you and me and the rest of te people here) S
