Who would she talk to if it were not you? Is she actually playing the game or is she fantasizing about it? What would happen if you were not there to talk to? What would happen if you did not talk to her at all? Does she think you are playing the game with her? Does she think you are condoning her actions in this game and you are allowing an open marriage?
What would happen if you did not play the game?
Maybe going dark for a while would shake something loose.
I have no other opinion at this moment, but answer these questions and I will do some more thinking. NOT THAT I KNOW ANYTHING. Like you, I am here because my W walked out. And that certainly does not give me any more knowledge about these things. However, I would suggest you discuses this idea in detail again with your C.
Well, the game is an online game with many other people in it. She said she hasn't got my social interaction for the past 8 years so that is why she likes playing it so much. She likes having fun with people and it makes her feel good.
So it is my thinking that I can either be a part of it with her until she gets burned out on it or be against it and insert another thing between us.
My thought process for this is like this.. The more I tighten my grip on her, the more she will slip through my fingers. I can't have that.
Tonight was a decent night. She played so much she got burned out and came down and hung out with the kids and myself. We watched the movie Robots. We were friendly and we talked a bit more about the game and stuff. Any time she talks I make sure that I fully listen to her.
So that is two movies in one week. She wouldn't want to even have me be in the same room with her before. At least that is getting better. I think I still need to continue to GAL and make progress in that arena too.
Today was a good day I think. Our water heater broke and was leaking water all over the garage. I had never done anything like this before and I was able to replace it by myself. I did it in 6 hours. Not the fastest guy in the world but it was my first one and I got the job done so that we weren't without hot water for very long. I knew that this was important to take care of right away and show her that I can take care of big problems and succeed at taking them head on.
Another thing that I've recently tackled is talking to my Dad. He and I have been at odds for over 30 years. She said this was a huge problem with my emotions and that I need to deal with it. So a while back I called my Dad and we got going on the right track. Now he calls the house and asks for me and such. She tells me he called and then I call him back. Since she is answering the phone I know she knows that we're talking again and stuff. I'm doing it for myself of course, but I'm also showing her that I can be a man and tackle the biggest problems I've faced throughout my life. I'm also proving a lot to myself along the way which is most important.
Anyways, this look better as far as communication goes.
I have no idea when she will stop sleeping in her craft room on an air matress. I don't think I can be the one to invite her back. I think that would be chasing. I think she would have to come back on her own? Not sure how this will play out. I don't think she would just come back to bed one night. Who knows maybe she will if she gets comfortable enough.
OOOOOOOH!!! I understand Now! Forgive me, I was on the wrong track. OK! I aggree with you now. She needs professional help. Will she get that kind of help?
She will not have anything to do with professional help. It's unfortunate but she is extremely stubborn.
I think my short term goals for this week are to keep up the dialog that we've been having and a longer term goal that may take weeks is to get her back into our bed. No idea how that one will happen or not because she wants to play the game so much that she doesn't want me to see how late she comes to bed. So maybe I need to fully support her playing the game when I'm home and awake and maybe she won't want to play it all night long to hide it. I don't know, I'll just have to experiment and see.
She is addicted to this stuff. She needs help. Do you guys have any friends that you can make plans with to get her away from the computer. You know her better than we do. This maybe the best way.
Well, progress but not in the right direction. She got a lawyer and started demanding documents from me. So I need to play the game and get one myself. :-( She wants to stay in the house until the kids are out of school in the summer and then deal with stuff but that would put us close to 10 years which might cause me to have to pay spouse support for life. So I need to get a lawyer and have him file paperwork that will start the clock now rather than later. I don't do anything more, just get the clock started.
I still don't think the reality has hit her that what she has here will be all gone. She plays the game so much that she doesn't have any time to allow it to sink in. Once we have to move out and she can't sit and play all day it will hit her.
