I have realized today that I will continue to go to the functions, for the girls. They aren't uncomfortable. In fact, they love to be around their cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents (xH's side is HUGE). They had a blast, surrounded by love. I'll get over my blecky feelings, and xH can get over his. Its all about the girls.
The week of Halloween has begun!!! D4's "Fall Party" (no Halloween allowed lol) was this morning and of course, so much fun. She has another one tomorrow and xH will be attending that one. He originally wanted to go on the day I went, but I asked him to attend the other one, and he was fine with that. Having lunch with co-workers tomorrow. D6's party is Friday and xH will be working, so I'll go alone, which is much better for me at the moment. But I will take pictures for him. I will smile and avoid OW if needed, but blecky. Still affects me, no lyin' there.
Isn't it sad, really Dittoing Gypsy... Why does everyone have to over analyze everything. We grew up with halloween parties and were ok, I just don't understand it. I was waiting for the same thing to happen at S5 school, but they are coming to school in costume and doing a little parade,so I was happy to hear that.
You are truly above it all lwb,
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
As the future rolls on, I am less bothered by her, and more excited about D6's activities. I used to not even be able to focus on D6, would cry all the way home, etc. Things have definately changed, and I'll get there.
Call Guiness Book of World Records folks, xH left after I got home from work last night. All on his own. Wow.
Long talk with xH on phone last night. He called me at work with a question and it went from there.
All good things, in a manner of speaking. He has been making a lot of calls, trying to lower my bills (insurance shopping, bundling cable/phone, etc). He is really doing a great job and I am letting him! He has also (for the third time since the D) given me his entire paycheck and says it can continue to go into my account as long as I need it.
xH: I want you to be ok. I want you happy and secure.
Me: I really appreciate that. The money always helps. Thank you.
xH: I just worry because you never sleep.
Me: I know, I am struggling with that, but it'll get better.
xH: I want to help. Let me.
Me: I do and I will. And I also wanted to tell you that you leaving every night when I get home at work is just as helpful to me as the money. Thank you for making an effort to do that every night lately.
xH: Sure.
It feels great that he cares. SUCH a turn around from a year ago, when he basically was trying to kick me out of the house without the girls. I stood firm about things like that, and he came around. I am so happy he is being respectful and kind. Little bitty ouch though, because he is doing it to tuck me away, move on from me with no guilt, and start his new life. I know he cares, but it still niggles me.
He gives you his entire paycheck sometimes?? Tries to make life easier? That is quite unique in the world of divorce. It's tough to see someone being nice to you after dissolving the marital relationship with you.
I can understand the niggle and ouchie. Hopefully the blecky, niggle and ouches will pass. You're a good woman and mamma.
I agree with Gypsy -- your H giving you his entire paycheck is sooo not the norm.
And yes, it's all likely due to guilt. But don't forget that he could have just continued onward with his blinkers on, and be in complete denial about the impact of what he's done. The WAS is pretty good at rationalizing such things, and passing the blame.
So maybe your H at least has an inkling of a conscious, even if he might just be trying to assuage it for his own peace of mind. Better than nothing, I suppose.
Im glad he is making things easier on you, god knows you need that. I can understand how that can also bother you, its like, why couldn't we have worked things out...
You can move on too though, find things that interest you and just worry about you and the girls, not worrying about where he is , or what he's doing.
It seems not the long ago when you and I were talking about going to disney and that we would be there at the same time. Time really goes by fast.
:)~ your a great person, and you will get past it.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
D4's "Fall Party" (no Halloween allowed lol) was this morning and of course, so much fun. She has another one tomorrow and xH will be attending that one. He originally wanted to go on the day I went, but I asked him to attend the other one, and he was fine with that. Having lunch with co-workers tomorrow. D6's party is Friday and xH will be working, so I'll go alone, which is much better for me at the moment. But I will take pictures for him. I will smile and avoid OW if needed, but blecky. Still affects me, no lyin' there.
Muwahahaha! 
