Nothing new, same old frustrations and still party

[Arthur]

thankx lwb, not sure we've crossed threads before but I appreciate the visit. Info from those ahead of me in the process is always greatly appreciated, helps to have some idea of what might be coming my way.

I am more excited about seeing my kids afterwards to be honest. I've taken a half day so I do not need to go back to work for 2 hours after, but can spend that time with the boys

[Lanzo]

Arthur,

I hope it all goes well today.


Lanzo

[Arthur]

cheers sir, 50 mins countdown has begun....I'm a bit nervous but basically it's dotting the i's and crossing the t's as we have agreed on most stuff and the rest we will need to refer back to the solicitors for.

[goldeylox]

**((hugs))**
Sending warm fuzzies your way today! Goldey

[mountainman]

Please let us know how it goes A.

[Arthur]

thanks guys.

Well it went bad. I finally lost it in the car on the way there. Sheer frustration got the better of me and I got out the car near place and walked last bit with a ciggie in the rain. Mediation was pointless, STBX will not play fair, so we did it all and I am going to solicitor to discuss what next. To say i'm dissapointed is an understatement, she is pure evil and I can't help it but I now hate her. I detest her. She wants to break me and I will not let it happen. I also found out a lot of other stuff like the first A was premeditated for months via texts, she is also seeing someone (that does not bother me but explains why she so desperate for me to have kids overnight last few weeks), but when telling me anything hurtful, she would ensure it was done in a super hurtful way and also with an evil smirk on her face as if I deserve it.

I cannot explain how I feel right now easier than to say hate. If she was any friend of mine, I would tell her she is so out of line and only going to hurt the boys.

She cannot get a mortgage in her name so no idea what will happen now as she cannot take on the mortgage in her name and I cannot keep paying it and get a place of my own. Renting yes, but in about a year I would like to buy again.

I really feel at a loss for what to do now. I need to be strong for my boys but just want to get away for a bit. I would ideally like to sell the house, we both take out cuts and have a clean break except for the boys. If I never saw her again it would be to soon.

aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh

[Distressed67]

A,

I am sorry this had to go down like it did. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but I just want you to know I am here for you. Vent away and take care of yourself.

Tim

[ernest88]

OK..Arthur..spell some things out for me as I don't follow..

I finally lost it in the car on the way there. Sheer frustration got the better of me and I got out the car near place and walked last bit with a ciggie in the rain.

this means what..upset, crying??

Mediation was pointless, STBX will not play fair, so we did it all

explain we did it all..

I also found out a lot of other stuff like the first A was premeditated for months via texts, she is also seeing someone (that does not bother me but explains why she so desperate for me to have kids overnight last few weeks),

her drama..unless of course you plan on using it against her in some way. I mean you knew she had multiple A's right??

but when telling me anything hurtful, she would ensure it was done in a super hurtful way and also with an evil smirk on her face as if I deserve it.

her trying to put you on the coaster..don't let her.

I really feel at a loss for what to do now.

go see your L..try to get visitation set and on paper. try to get equitable distribution of assets..you have a ways to go buddy..

now..from me to you A..this is my second time around..do not let anger and bitterness take you ..it is easy to do..

pick yourself up, dust yourself off, you'll be oK..

[Arthur]

i lost it. screaming at her Mike. The spew got me, 6 months of batting the chit away with me saying, you don't know I don't know what will happen but we both have opinions and then going round the same old circle of her demands which bascially fook me over and therefore fook the kids over. Me I can handle, stitching my kids up seeing the dad no siree.

Mediation.

she wants house, but can't get a mortgage as she doesn't work. She is on mental money due to depression. I will not be able to buy a place without a deposit and I cannot have the current mortgage against me else I cannot borrow enough to use a public toilet. She doesn't give a flying fook.

She wants me to have them every other weekend and mon/wed til bedtime then take them home. I want mon/wed and one weekend night overnight and all following day.

first A hurts because back then we were supposed to be trying. trying my arse. She says it was over in her head, well do something not cheat on me and your kids....yes, sucked into the drama on that and next statement.....it was just the way it was.

She also insulted me, lied about me regularly during mediation. She also called me a bad father and I will not take that for nobody. my boys are my world. I've tried to be nice, compromising for them. She is nothing to me now, but she still has some control over my future and that p1sse5 me off more tha anything in this world.

I am faxing stuff to sols tomorrow then arranging to see him this week. I'm hoping the fact she cannot get a mortgage might mean we sell the house, we can have a clean break and start over with me not having anything to do with her.

Yes, anger and hate is bad, it's where i'm at today. Sure 48 hours will pass, I'll know my legal stuff and be ok again, but today was the worst day off my life (removing hindsight and the day I met her)

[Little Engine]

Arthur--So sorry for this awful day for you. Mike is right about the anger thing, and you know it. It is the emotion of the moment. Your W is grasping at straws to make you feel as bad as the guilt that is bothering her I would think. Tomorrow can be a better day. Appreciate your weighing in on my thread. Cheers!

LE