Well, All I can say is WOW! So my H is actually filing for D after a year seperation. Only a month ago we talked about getting a D. He asked if he had to decide then. I guess he has used this month to decide.
How do I feel, shaking with nerves, sad inside, because I really wanted my H back and yet a bit relieved. Probably more sad than anything. Although this past year I have lost a lot of trust in him. I'm kinda in stun mode, because I went to the online public court records & found this out. So I haven't gotten the papers yet. I don't know what else to say right now.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I do not know your sitch but I read your thread title and just wanted to pop in and say that I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. It must be a crazy rollarcoaster. Just remember that it does not always mean the end of the road. I think there are a lot of people who can still save their marriage even if papers are filed. What are the laws in your state? Is there a "cooling off" period like I have read about on other threads?
Always remember that you are the only one who can decide when it is really over. It may seem/feel hopeless now but I really believe that you can keep DBing and pull things back if you want to.
Hi daisy282, Thanks for stopping by with kind words of encouragment. I have had a year to decide myself as well. The more I think of it my H is a master of lies (he had a great teacher - his mother - and he learned quite well). Last month we talked about filing together, he asked if he had to decide then. Two weeks ago he emails me for my SS# says it's for insurance stuff & 4 days later he files. The day before he filed he replied to my email about dinner & says sounds good. (He filed on 10/10 & our anniversary was 10/13). Best gift he ever gave me as an anniversary present was filing for D ..... oooppps .... he never gave me a gift that's right - I forgot. (Sorry, I've turned very sarcastic at the moment).
But no really, maybe I can have a R with him - but I no longer want to be M to him. I will be nice, because he is a scared boy in a mans body. He never learned .... how to work through things, only to run away & hide. I'm not trying to blame him - but face reality. I love him, always will & will miss the good times we shared.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I have had a year to decide myself as well. The more I think of it my H is a master of lies (he had a great teacher - his mother - and he learned quite well). Last month we talked about filing together, he asked if he had to decide then. Two weeks ago he emails me for my SS# says it's for insurance stuff & 4 days later he files. The day before he filed he replied to my email about dinner & says sounds good. (He filed on 10/10 & our anniversary was 10/13). Best gift he ever gave me as an anniversary present was filing for D ..... oooppps .... he never gave me a gift that's right - I forgot. (Sorry, I've turned very sarcastic at the moment).