Hi Cinders- I love that song too. It is so true and YOU do deserve to smile. All of us here do.
It will be interesting what will happen with your H and the OW when he lets his true self show and when he finally sees the OW for who she truly is. I hope that day is not too far away.
You have become such a strong and positive person through out this struggle. Even if you have an occasional setback, You should be proud of yourself.
xH is himself around me as well. And the girls. I probably wouldn't recognize him out in the real world.
And upside is right, the occasional setback (ewww to OW and H at the movies!) is hard, but isn't it amazing we can pop back on our feet so much faster these days?
H called, was very cheerful and friendly on the phone, I could tell ow was not there....
Does it bother you that he talks differently to you when she is not there?
I find this *so* annoying when my (ex) H does this!!
Why do they have to put on an act? Why can’t they be themselves… How can they enjoy living such a fake two faced life?
I just don’t get it!!
Nutty x
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
I don't think the SEE themselves as having double lives...to be honest.
D7 just told me how happy her daddy is with ow. I choked. The sadness whirlwinded through my whole body ! All the what if's presented themselves...all the things I had wished for in my life and OUR life. What a shame it truly is. What a waste.... and for what???
I don't think it bothers me though, that he is like that, I guess on some level, I'm happy we still share a certain type of bond...
What else can we do, but be greatful for the best parts of all this.
Tonight I need to pray, pray for patience and understanding, pray to find it in me to realy truly forgive H and ow. Tonight will be another attempt at it...
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I often find myself thinking about the day that I die....that hopefully THEN, all my feelings can be revealed to H. Maybe in a letter, maybe he'll find my diary, who knows...but if I ever go, I think I will go in peace, for I will have finally been able to tell him all that I can't right now.
Now of course, you will all think I'm a nutter !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I don't think they see themselves as having double lives either Cinders. I think the LBS sometimes find comfort in the double life, unhappy, guilt ridden MLC spouse who has mental issues and just can't find their way back home thoughts. Maybe there are a few who truly fit that description. In truth I think very few do. They have moved on, they often continue to be high flying professionals and continue in demanding careers. Apart from leaving wife and family behind their lives continue much as they had planned. A hard pill to swallow for those left behind. We survive, we have our beloved children and friends but our lives do change and financially many of us especially after long term marriages suffer hardships or a dramatic drop in the standard of living,that coupled wih loneliness and the loss of shared dreams is hard. You said
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What a waste.... and for what???
You cannot know how many times I have uttered that sentence. I am so happy that you and your H still share that bond I hope it will be always so. I hope that it will be an additional bond as you move on to the fabulous life that awaits you in the future and it will not prevent you from finding that happiness. As for the forgiveness, I think I have truly forgiven my x but hand on heart I have away to go for the ow. As ever your good heart shines out through your sorrow. (((())))
