This site had deeply disturbed me. Wondering if they know all the "faithful spouses" are checking in and ruining their party?
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Having been the OW - and i am not defending them, and there are some sick responses, I see it as an indication of exactly how they feel and how they cannot see the destructiveness of what they do. In lala land
They really truely believe they are in love and that anyone in there way is the enemy. No thoughts of the family or indeed the misery they are causing or going to cause to EVERYONE including themselves
I say use the site to get insight in to how there minds work. May give you amo in your own battles.
Hmmmmmm..... I havent posted for ages, but checked in tonight and this caught my eye somehow.
I'm pretty much an "oldie" here, went through absolute hell with my H's A... I found that website several years ago in the midst of my angst. Reading it added to my grief and misery, I remember bawling once to my H that he otta check out the kinda women that had A's, telling him how they made fun of W's and called us BW's. I used to feel sick reading it, even wondered why I kept doing that to myself.
Then a strange thing happened. I began to find that site helpful to my survival and even hope. I read and saw that....it really wasnt all about my failures. It became obvious that there is a pattern to these things and to the issues of the people who get involved in them. what a relief to figure out that it really really really wasnt all my fault after all. what a gift from the ow's....
I also got insight into what was most likely going on in H's A...the pressure from ow, all that exhausting drama and angst, which h has confirmed since. It helped me have patience and hang in there when not much else seemed to.
I took perverse pleasure in listening to them whine and moan about wanting to be a 3%er (3% of affair partners who marry their partner and stay married for 5 years- their stats, not mine).
And finally it dawned on me....what a gift (in an admittedly twisted way). The OTHER TEAM ACTUALLY LEFT THEIR PLAYBOOK OPEN RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME. What a clear look into the thinking (or lack thereof) and manipulating...all spelled out, exactly what the heck was going on. Pretty much accurate to the letter. Helped me see what her appeal was....
So, if you can get through the "blood and guts"....the play book is right there open for you too....LOTS of Ammo for your battle. A treasure trove.
and yeah, they know W's go trolling there, I've never registered there, but man do they moan and whine about the marriage building sites...never seen this one mentioned, BUT I've seen them speculating about "what could his W possibly be doing/thinking" and I recognize it as classic DB'ing.
Fizzle, good insight. Since my seperation is new my emotions are pretty raw. I hope that I can be a success story on this site.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Fizzle, I noticed the same thing about some of the things they posted about what the wives were doing....classic DB'ing.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
The name is gloryb. I need to look at the site again when my emotions are not so raw and maybe learn the "other side"
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I have been reading over there a lot...its like a car wreck, you just can't look away.
I don't know that it helps me, but it is interesting reading and I find a few nuggets here and there. Not gems of wisdom, but there have been a few Aha moments reading things from the "other side."
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I need to look at it again. I need to be in the mind of the Ow. I think that my H's OW has done this before. She seems to know all the tricks and what to say.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
