I have been going dark for 2 weeks and it is going well until today. Just opened his mailby mistake and it has a tenancy agreement with him and OW - why send it to my address?? He told me he was moving in on his own. He has been living with her for 6 weeks now and I don't see why the papers could not go to her address. Is this just to rub salt into the wound??
I am hoping going dark will make it easier to move on. Has anyoe else found this useful and how long do you wait??
Hi Samina....Welcome here, not for the circumstance, of course, but you will find really great advice on this site.
I'm sorry about H sending those papers to your house for you to see. Going dark is different in every case. Do you share children with him? How long have you been seperated?
I just thought I'd post and say hello in DB world. IMHO your H wouldn't have had the letter sent to your place on purpose- he's most likely not thinking properly at the moment and I'd also imagine that he didn't think you'd be reading any letters coming for him. WAS tend to live in a parallel world where they can't see the consequences of their actions.
I think going dark is a great technique for regaining your balance and your centre, and to help you detach from the situation. It takes a long time to move on completely but I think dark can help (having said that I've never done it for more than a couple of weeks).
Hi Separated, thanks for message, we have been separated for 2 months and no kids (M for 3 and T for 6). I have found this website a great help and have been DBing for about 5 weeks. It got his attention but he says this is the only decision he could have made, it didin't occur to him to try and sort out things as he didn't want me hanging around for him, hence going dark.
Thanks L. I think you are right in that he is not thinking as he is "in love" and is living for the moment. He is picking up rest of his belongings next weekend and then it'll be easier to not have any further contact. I was the one always mailing and texting him and now it has been him since going dark. But I'm going to be cautious.
