I have been reading the discussion boards for a little while, but have never actually posted anything before, but feel like things are changing in my situation , so I was wondering if this is normal. My h and I seperated about 3 months ago and up until now, he has been fairly kind and friendly (although still emotionally distant), but in the last week or so, something definitely shifted! He seems irritable and grouchy around me,to the point that detaching from him has actually become easier because he just brings me down. We have 2 young kids, so we see each other almost everyday, but I have given him space and do not call him to chat, etc. (All the DB stuff!) We go to c every other week and that is the only time we bring up any r talk. I am so tempted to ask what is wrong, but I know that will get me nowhere! I am trying to "ignore" it as best I can, but whenever he leaves, I feel frustrated. Is this normal or could it be a sign that he is "done"???
M-33 H-34 Sep 7/17/2008 Married 9 years Togeher 14 years Kids- d-3, s-1
Hi butterfly Welcome to this board, this is a good place to seek advices and supports. Since you are separated, I am guessing you should be doing the last resort techniques. I haven't seen my wife more than a month now, and I can tell she is a bad mood recently. I don't know why. Like Ms B(Ladybug) advice to me, DO NOT ask anything, DO NOT offer emotional support unless he brings it up first. You should keep doing (GAL) and make yourself happy. You need to let him realize he is making a mistake by leaving the fun / loving wife behind. Hang in there. NW
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
I am trying to be the loving wife I used to be, but it's so hard when they act like this! I will not ask what has been bothering him, but next week at c it's bound to come up, but hopefully I won't have to ask. It was hard even when he was supportive, now it's just unbearable!
M-33 H-34 Sep 7/17/2008 Married 9 years Togeher 14 years Kids- d-3, s-1
I am trying to be the loving wife I used to be, but it's so hard when they act like this! I will not ask what has been bothering him, but next week at c it's bound to come up, but hopefully I won't have to ask. It was hard even when he was supportive, now it's just unbearable!
M-33 H-34 Sep 7/17/2008 Married 9 years Togeher 14 years Kids- d-3, s-1
There are several reasons why he may be acting this way.
He MAY see you as the loving wife, and not the martyr, lunatic, whatever he WANTS you to be to justify him leaving. That would be frustrating.
MAYBE he sees you GAL, and is concerned that you are able to live without him.
MAYBE the grass wasn't as green as he thought it was going to be, and he's frustrated.
HOPEFULLY, you'll find out in counseling what's on his mind. UNTIL THEN, ignore it. Act like you don't even notice. Asking him will get you no where, and will likely make him angry.
He does need to see you GAL though. So, make sure the next time he sees you, you happen to be on your way out the door to...(dance lessons, yoga, drinks with friends, chick flick night, wine tasting...). Cleavage and heels will always leave a man wondering.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
