The subject of comparing affairs to gambling and drug addiction are documented in the description of cluster b personality disorders as well.
I definitely think there is an addiction aspect to the As. My H is also a sober alcoholic. He gave up alcohol, but has had a series of addictions after, running, or billiards or whatever. And now his affair. Once we were playing a game with my D8 (pet shop) and it literally takes about 5 minutes to play and H was away from texting the OW for 5 minutes and he was freaking out, yelling spin, spin at us trying to get us to play with super-speed and make the game end in 3 or 4 minutes I guess. It was pathetic.
I speaking from a reference of my W possibly being diagnosed as BPD. I have read from a myriad of sources from across the 'net and have heard my IC talk about this as well. BPD isn't usually associated with males for some reason. but sexual promiscuity is one of the traits.
Just google Cluster B Personality Disorder/Traits and you will find much about the different types of PDs. Many people exhibit traits from 2 or 3 different PDs. Most of us exhibit some traits from the PD descriptions. does that mean we all have a PD? Certainly not, and then only a professional can make a diagnosis.
My opinion is based on the knowledge I have gained from my own therapy, MC with a chemical dependency therapist, and knowledge gained through my own research. Just take it with a grain of salt.
But Karen is right, they taught us in family therapy and Al-Anon, that once the addict is sober; many times they will substitute one addiction for another.
WDID, can you swing by my thread and give me some insight please?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I guess I didn't see it until I reread what I wrote. Those posts kinda shocked me into seeing someone I don't even recognize anymore. It is so true that the wayward spouse becomes clouded. Thank goodness I didn't follow some of my thinking....I'm so lucky. And, so lucky to have found this forum. It really helped me turn onto the right path.
Hey WDID, do you have time to give us some specific examples? what did you write that tells you now, that you were clouded? gimme a couple examples.
I can't even find the word "affair" on that page with a word search feature...is this the right url?
I see some references for PBD and impulsivity, loose morals, and sex, but I don't see anything direct here.
BTW, I wasn't trying to make a connection between affairs, addictions, and gambling. Non-PD people, or normals, that have affairs are different that what I'm experiencing with my W.
She is definitely somewhere in the mix of BPD comorbidity with narcissism.
check out somberbrow's thread in Newcomer's and look what he's going through.
I would think that the majority of WAS on this board probably are nowhere near having PDs. Yeah, we all have issues just most of us not to the extent of being classified as a Cluster B.
