Time to cacoon and go dark for your own sanity. Just take time for you. Maybe go workout at the gym after work (get some endorphins), and take yourself out for a nice dinner somewhere. Set something up with another buddy you can talk with... take care
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
LE - thinking of you... I think of the same things.. future with my H and OW possibly makes me sick to my stomach... the fact that I have to see and communicate with him for the rest of my life...
I have to believe it will get easier... I know for me with the stunt that H pulled last night is making me lose respect for him little by little... not sure how long I'll have the will to play nice and even want him again...
We all deserve better than what we are getting... doesn't mean give up hope but we do have to detatch to some degree and start moving on... if the cards change we can address how we feel then and if we even want them back...
hang in there... I know you are hurting...
HUGS>.....
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
LE - You need a break. Her actions are no concern of you. Please focus on you and the kid(s) at this point.
W seems to be really lost right now and there is nothing you can do about it. You're her friend? Since when does a friend treat someone like that? Would you really want her as a friend if you were never married? She just said that to make herself feel better! Then for her to say that she could be married to you forever! Seriously, she's fogged in and the plane isn't taking off today or anytime soon. If you were a traveling, you'd cancel the flight. Maybe you should "cancel her plane trip" for a while and get back to you.
LE - one thing to realize here while you are having a bad day is that we all love and accept you here for who you are, wrinkles and all. Never forget that your W is really emotionally struggling, as are you. You need to surround yourself with people who accept you without conditions or expecting something from you. That will give you the love you need and help you not be as upset with W's actions. KNow it is hard but trust me on this. Do not critize her even to your friends. Focus on telling the truth about you and feeling the love they give you. It is liberating.
Stay strong. You are a good man who loves his kids and have a fab life ahead of you.
Man im sorry, i missed the part about the ring. I know that has to hurt u so bad. My thoughts are the same as your why if there is a poss they could be happy would they not try again. But i also know my W does deserve to be happy. I mean really happy. Thats her plung that she is making though. Will we still be waiting. Who knows, we may be thru the toughest heart ace by then and honestly 100% ready to move on. If so then that will be there lose, not ours because our lose was along time ago, and for a lot longer than theres.
Just keep ur head up, visit the kids away from her if its to hard. Just focuse on them at this point. LE please for me just do it for the kids, away from her. Today has really been hard for me, daughter is and adult now. I missed so much of her child hood growing, games, missed opportunities just to play with her because i was absorbed in work, or just to dang lazy. I regret so much of it, wish i could just get a year of it back to make up for. Dont miss any chances, and u wont regret anything. We are here for u, u guys guide me when i need it. I know ur heart is broken now, just try to put that part aside for awhile. I know listen to me try to tell u that, i think u have told me that first. Just cherish every chance u get with them. U cant change anything that W does, but u can be the one that the kids know they can count on. Im thinking about u and ur family, will say a few prayers for u tonight. Take care
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
hey LE. hang in there bud, know we love you here just as you are, and we know the real you. let me know when you are ready for that beer, my door and stove will be ready. love hugs and prayers
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Furiously PO'd. Got an e-mail this morning from OM! W used Outlook on S's computer at home to e-mail her OM last night. The default account was mine, I have it mirrored here at work so I can get e-mail. She apparently did or didn't realize it and sent him a message with my account. Just wondering who else she sent e-mail to using my name? Anyway, OM replied and it landed here at work in my inbox. Called W and asked if she had e-mailed OM, she said "Yes." Hung up and called ISP and told them to delete my account. Problem solved.
Talked to S and D last night. They are looking forward to Friday and seeing me. Had to talk to W and she asked about the flood at work. I told her that was three weeks ago and old news. She never cared about work, when I was at home. She said, "You seem really aloof are you OK?" I replied, "Yes, I am just fine." She then asked "You seem like you are moving on, is there someone else?" I just said "That is really of no concern." She said "Oh." "Why don't you want to talk?" she asked. I responded, "I really don't have much to say to you unless it is related to the kids or the D." I told her that I couldn't make the co-parenting class that she had scheduled for Monday and that I would rather take it by myself here because it is cheaper, than drive down there and pay $50 more. I asked "Is there anything else?" She said "You are really shutting me down." I said, "I am tired and ready to go to bed, so if there is nothing else, good night." She said "Good night," and I hung up. Went to bed and got a really good night's sleep. I still woke up at 4:20, but I was able to slumber until 6:15.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Interesting that she's curious about possibility of other woman in your life. Why should she care???? That rings true to what I've heard..they never want to see us move on!
You are doing fine...keep it up! Look forward to your weekend. Keep the distance with W. I've had the worst week, but I know that everyday might be better than the last. That keeps me going.
I'm praying for you and your kids!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
Thanks Amy! I can't wait to see the kids. I got S an MP3 player last visit and it already broke. Called yesterday and they apologized and said a new one is on the way. Hopefully it will last longer than this one. He loves music and that is what we share. He is beating me up about tickets for AC/DC in Tulsa or KC.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
