I think your list is good. I would definately focus on H spending irresponsibly. Maybe focus also on cancelling plans with the kids, blowing them off, not being consistent. Also, you could talk about his lack of boundaries in YOUR house.
Is OW invited to be deposed?
Thanks, LWB!!! Plus I realized today he hadn't given my D8 her medicine (related to autism) last night or this morning, and he's forgotten several times (actually I really think most of the time he forgets and last week he said he gave her the morning dose really late). Just doesn't think about it. So I guess I should put that down?
I don't know about the OW. Really wouldn't want to have to see her but if I have to I guess I have to. Will my L invite OW to be deposed? She's divorced now so would that be relevant? What kind of questions would my L ask her do you think? I'll ask my L about that if you think I should.
Also, what issues re: boundaries? There are so many! You mean like when he enters my room without knocking or comes and yells at me? That kind of thing? Or is there something else I'm forgetting and I should put in?
I know what you're talking about the cancelling plans. When D8 was wanting to go to a play back at the start of the year and made plans with him to take her, he cancelled on her twice to go to a luncheon (I saw a bulletin re: the lunch in the back of his car although I don't look anymore b/c I'm afraid of what I might see!) and party with OW so I finally did take her the last night of the play. I don't think he's done that recently, but you think I should bring that up still?
Y'all. I'm getting nervous. If I put all this stuff down and anything else my brother or you guys suggest--I'm guessing H will go ballastic. I think he will not expect me to do this, and if I do he will freak as soon as he gets out of the depo. Is there a way of me presenting this stuff and toning it down or something??? Karen
Well, I'm giving the info to the L and I guess she will sift through it and decide what is good or not. I'm just giving her the ammo and she gets to do the dirty work. But I think it will change our R hugely b/c I've never really hurt him like that, which is kind of how I feel like it. But I think he is really going to be my adversary in this, and I have to put the kids over him. He doesn't, someone has to. And that's why I guess I'll do it. Karen
YOu need to put yourself over him. He has been hurting for at a couple of years. You can't keep going like this. Maybe he will finally find the respect he should have had for you along when he sees/hears what a true Chit he has been to you and the kids. Hugs.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Maybe he will finally find the respect he should have had for you along when he sees/hears what a true Chit he has been to you and the kids.
Do you really think so? I'm expecting he'll just be mad at for me for revealing what he's really like to other people, don't you think? But I'm a big girl (literally) so I can take it (I hope). Karen
Karen, why do you care if he is mad or not? He has been a POS to you and you still care what he thinks?? That is just a little off. I want you to be happy and confident and strong. you are a great Mom and a wonderful person and he can't tell you any different.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Ok, where is everyone tonight (except Kat). You missed a really fun movie!!!
Alright, something weird my D told me (I kind of don't want her to tell me stuff b/c it's never good but I just try to say hmmm, ok, or whatever. So H yesterday picked her up late b/c he had to take a nap after a race he ran. Came by almost 2 hours late, but he did call and tell them at least. Then he drops them off today at 1 even though he could have had them all day. I just can't get over him wanting primary custody? Oh, the weird thing is D8 asked H to pull up youtube on the computer and he couldn't find it. youtube.com? What the? Is that weird or what? Hasn't he ever heard of google or something? or adding.com? Karen
I only told a few people about the movie. I ended up being so exhausted from yesterday that I just didn't spread the info. I am sorry. Sounded like quite a few people I talked to wouldn't be able to and I couldn't find a good time for everyone. Sorry.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Plus I realized today he hadn't given my D8 her medicine (related to autism) last night or this morning, and he's forgotten several times (actually I really think most of the time he forgets and last week he said he gave her the morning dose really late). Just doesn't think about it. So I guess I should put that down?