WAS (Men) Usually Return. WAS (Women)...Don't.

[Superstar]

I read this on another forum today; it just made me sick and I feel like just throwing in the towel.

Is there any truth to this?

[christarn]

superstar, I wish I knew....I am a WAW...wanting to put things back together, I guess I am the odd duck out

I would do your research before throwing the towel in.

Each scenario is different

Keep your chin up. Nothing is over until papers are signed....my H came to me this week, in the middle of our drama...with D filed and atty's fighting in court and agreed to MC...so never doubt yourself....you can do this!!

(((SS))))
christarn

[Superstar]

Thanks Chris, I appreciate the hugs. Unfortunately here in Texas, it's only 60 days from papers to final. Not a lot of time for DBing. I'm confused...did you walk away or did he?

I'm feeling down because my son and I took a vacation to an animal park today, and at one of the rest stops inside the park he saw all the people there and he asked me "Daddy, will I ever have a family again?"

I was crushed and I still haven't shaken it.

[christarn]

SS~ 60 days isn't much time...but still it's time!! and time is on your side. Make it work for you!! Be positive, strong and encouraging.

I am a WAW. I walked away, then realized the mistake I had made. Now, I am trying to fix what I messed up.

I am sorry for what your son said, that must have been really hard to hear. Be strong for him. You can do this...keep your chin up, stay positive. It's not over yet!

((((SS))))
christarn

[sandi2]

Don't take everything you read like that for the exact facts. How could anyone know that for sure? Besides, if somehow they were able to decide scientifically that information, why would it make a difference to you? Would you really just give up without a fight, if you were told that to be fact? If you were told you had 60 days to live.......what would you do?

[marriedCrazy]

I've learned this in general about BBs on the internet. Generally people post on internet boards because they want to complain not because they want to sing the praises of something.

Over at another website devoted to the topic of MLC and LBS', it is generally noted that once someone has either successfully saved their M or ended it and moved on; they move on off the board as well. A few individuals will stay behind to offer advice and encouragement.

So to try and guage success from the board is probably fruitless. It seems that here many more successful people stick around to help and that is why I like it here. However, there may be as many or more who leave and we'll never know how their sitch turns out.

[Very Scared 54]

((Superstar))

I am from the Lone Star State as well. My WAW walked away almost 5 months ago. For the many of the same reason that you have read on this website. I started here by just reading the forum. I read a lot of sitch here, I bought and read both DR and DB, and I learned that the people are here for support and to give support to others like them.

I don't know about you, but some of these sitch I have read, are in my opinion, are a lot worse off than mine, but yet I an here. No one can give you a guarantee of how your sitch will work out. Your sitch, like the rest of us, will work out the way it is suppose too. These are very good people here. They anonymously tell their stories to strangers that they would not want to tell anyone else. They're, in some cases, living under the same emotional strain (H#LL) that you and I are. But they take the time to help other out with their advice and unfortunately their life experiences.

Like you, when I came here I was looking for a magic bullet to stop the pain and hurt. To bring my WAW back to me and put my family back together again. I want to know what the success rate was for the DB/DR techniques. I asked the question like you have or read on another forum. I have learned that there is no one answer to our question. Yes, I believe there have a number of successes and Yes, there has been some failures. But I the one thing I have learned here is that rebuilding yourself (GAL & PMA) is just as important to your life, as rebuilding our M/R. If you don’t take care of you first, you will not be successful with rebuilding you R. This process take time and time is important emotional stabilizer. Also success is in the eye of the be-holder and that is very hard to put hard numbers on.

I for one (being here longer than some and not as long as other) have found inspiration, compassion, understanding, knowledge, encouragement, honesty, and a group of people sharing all of this without asking for nothing in return from you or me. I am grateful for the people here willing to listen to me complain, cry, and express those 2 a.m. thoughts and answering my ask dumb questions. I have taken everything in consideration and used their advice if it fits with my sitch.

I am not trying to bust your chops .... But one of the things I have learned here is a 1% chance of success is a lot more I would have had if I did not do anything. Never quit trying! Never give up! And get up one more time than you get knock down. I have gotten a lot of strength from these friends and you will too, if you let them help.

Hang in there!
VS54

[marriedCrazy]

But one of the things I have learned here is a 1% chance of success is a lot more I would have had if I did not do anything.

very well put.

[nw626]

VS
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It is very helpful.

[kabuki]

A quick look at the Divorce Busted thread seems like most of the WAS's that return are men. I don't know how scientific that is. It is kinda depressing though.