My STBXW sent me an email today telling me that her cervical biopsy came back positive for a "high grade" CIN2 (pre-cancerous) lesion and she is having surgery Thursday.
She also said in the same email that her company is having a big layoff sometime next week.
I replied with this...
I'm sorry.
Don't worry about your job. No matter what has happened or what will happen, I will be there for you when you need me.
Call me if you want to talk.
Best, Me
Is this a backslide on my LRT efforts?
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
No, you did not backslide. Obviously, this is a time that she could use some support. She reached out to you for a reason. I have not read your sitch, but maybe a phone call would not be amiss, either. I do not know who has the kids, etc. But there may be something that she needs your help on and is too afraid to ask under the circumstances.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I agree you did the right thing and I think a phone call would be nice as well now is not the time to be worried about strategy, she needs your support.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I think LRT can be broken if something big comes up. Surgery is big, and she reached out to you for support. Support her without smothering. Ball in her court now? Yes, but don't let it go if you don't hear from her in a day or two. Call, and make sure she's OK.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I never got a phone call or email back, but she did swing by the house this morning to drop off some of our sons stuff since it is my week with him.
She was very standoff-ish, wouldn't sit down or get near me at all.
We talked a bit about her medical condition but she really was very detached about it. Still...no emotion. She even said "I guess it is a good thing I am done having kids" without batting an eye...my delaying in wanting more kids is very likely responsible for where we are now. The fact we don't have more kids kills her and I know it (now).
Anyway, I was completely unsatisfied with the conversation so I called her about an hour later and asked to talk. I know...bad idea.
The conversation was pretty good. I told her "When we speak, I sense a lot of anger from you which makes it hard for me to be friendly...would you tell me what I did to make you so angry with me?" I mean...SHE cheated on ME, what does she have to be angry about?
Anyway, she told me that she doesn't trust me or my words. Her quote was "when you talk, I think it is all b*llsh*t".
Again, SHE cheated on ME, but SHE has trust issues? Wow...
I'm thinking of making the first move towards a better R by taking her at her word that she won't have anyone over while I am gone and letting her stay in the house. We can never be friends without trust, so I think me extending the first trust would be a good idea.
Yes/No?
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
