I'm sending out a heartfelt hello and thatnks to all the wonderful people I've "met" here in the past 7 months. I feel that I have become a much better person because of this site and all of you and your wonderful support and yes even the 2X4s.
In closing my Hs email accounts over the last 3 days I have discovered that he had been having an affair (PA and EA) all this time and was in love with her. She tried to break if off a couple of times but it seems he persued her. The end of June it seems that she had finally broken it off. The beginning of July is when he resumed "relations" with me but we'll never know what that meant. His friends and Sister told me they told him he should stay away from her but he wouldn't listen. Love can be pretty stupid.
Even though he is gone I did call her H and talked to him. I cannot have my M or H ever again but I had to let him know what had been going on. I had to for closure for me. I also wrote her an email telling her how I felt.
We are coping well. D refuses to sleep in her own bed but is doing fairly well and she'll go back to school tomorrow morning. I called the new job place and accepted the position. I know I will cry when I arrive there since it is Hs old school. Life is ironic and a bitch.
I'll never know what could have been so I just live with the knowledge that he cared for me and told me he loved me many times. I have no doubt that he did. I just wish he could be on this earth long enough for me to tell him I loved him madly one more time.
Loads of love and best wishes for your DBing efforts,
Jennifer
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I am so sorry for your loss and having to find this out during this hard enough time. I hope that you have found some closure knowing that it was over in June and that he continued to tell you that he loved you recently.
I want to thank you for all of the advice and support that you have given over the last 2 months. I miss looking for your comments.
I wish you luck with this new job opportunity and continue to keep you and your precious daughter in my prayers.
I too will miss you but understand completly. Take care of yourself and let yourself grieve as long as you need to. I also want to thank you for all your posts over the past couple of months. You always made me smile!
Good luck to you dear, you deserve every happiness that is in store for you down the road.
I hope and pray for your and your daughters hearts to heal.
Im sure he knew how much your loved him, and of course he loved you too.
Im sorry about what you found, You are dealing with so much right now, please take time for you to grieve and hold your daughter tight and know that you have eachother.
I will visit you in the alt. universe.
Take care of yourself and your D.
((((((JEN))))))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Glad to hear from you. You were a friend to me when I was in a deep hole. I appreciate you and your advice. So sorry for you and your daughter. I will stay in touch over in the alt univ. My sitch has taken a great turn for the better, my W is dropping the D! She is moving back in our house this week. Cheers ps I saw a gecko run into the closet in the bathroom and thought of you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
