I hear you....hang in there san.... you are a good woman and I'm sorry your H doesn't know what he's got..... Don't give up. I feel the same hurt in my heart for my W. (No OM yet, I just miss her tonight)
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
It is just a decision that you have to make. There is nothing you can really do about what your H does or says. The only control you have is over yourself. The only thing you can do is do the best for yourself and the K's. Take care of yourself so you can take care of the K's. I do pray all works out for you.
Last edited by yenko69; 10/04/0803:27 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I do take care of me..and the kids..they are getting all their needs met.
The problem is .. the deep pain in my heart. I cant stop crying...why do I love someone so much that has broken my heart ..and at times I dont even think he realizes the pain he is causing.
I dont feel like its a decision..I want to be happy.. I want to go out and find a knight and shining armour that will treat me better than I ever have known... but I dont even know how.. I wake up.. and can only focus on how much I love and miss him.
If I truely felt he would come home..of course I would say I would wait..but it doesnt look like he is going to choose me... he is going to pick someone young and dumb and irresponsible.
The problem is .. the deep pain in my heart. I cant stop crying...why do I love someone so much that has broken my heart ..and at times I dont even think he realizes the pain he is causing.
I dont feel like its a decision..I want to be happy.. I want to go out and find a knight and shining armour that will treat me better than I ever have known... but I dont even know how.. I wake up.. and can only focus on how much I love and miss him.
I really feel for you. I have been in the same spot. No, I don't think he realizes the pain he is causing you. My W pulled a stunt like that tonight. They really don't seem to see it. Even though it may not seem like it, every thing is a decision and a choice. You just have to make you emotions follow your mind. It is a hard thing to do, believe me I know. Keep doing the right things and you will get the right results. It may not be the ones you want now, but it all works out in the end.
Last edited by yenko69; 10/04/0803:44 AM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I definetly understand where you coming from. I would say try to focus on yourself and the kids. Let him text you and try not to respond to it and let him wonder what yo are doing. know its easier that than done but chnge will trigger something in his mind too and hopefully its something for the better. My prayers go out to you
This is not easy for you. I DO UNDERSTAND. Believe me, many of us here do.
Sandy, you do need to try and not let what H does or does not do influence how you feel. I know this is HARD AS HELL. Believe me I know. I feel every tear you cry as if it were running down my own cheek. I have been there and at times still am. But at other times, like today, I can be ME. I feel what I want to feel - what W does or says DOES NOT IMPACT HOW I FEEL. Heck, she is staying at a friends house tonight and it does no bother me in the least. Believe me, I still love my W with all my heart, but right now, I do not at all like the behavior I am seeing as it is destroying our family. Maybe try and take that approach to help yourself. Just a thought.
You don't get there easily though. And at times you will (as I have) slip back. But you need t do this for you and your K's. All you can control is you.
(((Sandy))) you CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH and will be a much stronger woman for it. Try to keep the faith.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I'm truly sorry you're hurting. I guess I just don't understand why you still want to be with someone, so much, who has HURT you -- so much.
I think maybe some of us have an easier time detaching than others because the "anger" meter starts to move past the "sadness" meter, but for others, they can't get past the sadness.
Why are you not mad as hell??? This man has cheated on you FOUR TIMES, and is even currently still jacking with your emotions. I just don't get it.
Trust me.... I dont get it either.... I really dont count it as four seperate times... its basically one ongoing time for at least 7-12 months.....but..does it make a difference? cheating is cheating.
I think I am not mad as hell because I am mad at myself for not being a good enough wife to keep him around.. I can face the fact that I built walls and was not as open or sexual enough or there for him when he needed me..
But, I love him with my entire heart. I know he loves me..he has told me and I see it in his eyes.. He has made poor choices and because he has allowed himself to develop feelings for someone else..he doesnt know if he wants to risk losing her to fix our relationship...totally sucks.
I am going to find the book "The Love Dare" from the movie fireproof.
I cant give up until I have given it my all. He was a wonderful man and I am hoping to find him again.
