My step-mom is a runner. I think she's a bit nuts, but she gets up at 4:30am 6days/wk, and runs outside for 10miles, comes back home, and swims 50laps, then goes to work at 7:00. Anyways, she uses this time to pray (I'd be praying for oxygen, but she prays for her family). Anyways, she did the Nike run this last weekend, and said that she thought alot about me. She told me the slogan of the run was "Strong is the new beautiful". She thinks that I'm very strong. I think most people don't see the tears, but I'm a scardy-cat underneath it all.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Ms b, he's talking out of his a$$ right now, anything he says about money or child support.
very true, I also got a lot of crap from stbx, I kept my cool as hard as it was (would be fine with him on the phone and rant to my friends/this board later). And yes, mediation is the best way but only if he is willing to cooperate, which in his case will b hard as he is being very unreasonable. I spent 1500 in mediation because we had agreed on lots of things before hand, if he's going to fight you about $ and the house mediation would get costly. I guess it is differently in your stat msL, in my state we can file for CS without filing for D.
I still can't believe you wouldn't get any equity on the house, either the house sells & you both split the proceeds or one of you refinances and pays the other person off (that's what I did, I kept the house and gave him his share which with the low price of homes now wasnt' as much as it could've been).
I think it'd be nice if he waits until after the holidays but don't fight it out if he doesn't want to, pick your battles and look at the big picture to see what can you use to your advantage.
This isn't easy, this isn't fun, but trust me, this will be the hardest part of this ordeal, once all the financial mess is sorted out, in time, you will find peace. I wake up now happy and glad that I'm not in limbo or praying that my H likes me or wondering what he is thinking, I have not felt better since the time before he left back in 05.
You can do it, i'm so glad you talked to a L msL, I know you wanted things to be different, you did all you could, you are now taking care of your little ones and yourself. My prayers your way.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I'm so sorry to see your sitch has progressed so negatively. I'm so sorry. I'm glad to see you are taking some steps to protect yourself and your kids. I understand the fear, especially after being a SAHM, but you cannot let fear rule you right now. He needs to see that you are strong, capable and independent. GAL like crazy, protect yourself, and make YOU the priority right now, not him or the marriage. I know that is incredibly hard, but I'm worried about you.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Hang in there! Sounds like you're still in the house for now, which is good.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
