Snakes are my greatest fear. Something I have not overcome. As one of my post bomb recovery tactics I took a trip to the Amazon and stayed in the jungle for 9 days. To step outside of my box and face my fears. Never saw a snake! Not disappointed.
It sometimes bothers me more at the cottage. WE split here. He had maggot here before I knew about her. She left her "calling card" - she dropped a theatre receipt for 2 at the movies, night of our daughter's 13 birthday. She left 2 wine glasses in the dish rack. And she relined my stove burners. Made my daughter's bed up perfect. Left the dried flowers on the coffee table. H knew you couldn't do that - the kitty would eat them.
Stuff a wife would be able to pick out. Kind of like Sleeping with the Enemy - kind of creepy.
Oh well, I am brave to be here alone and face those fears too. I have got passed it.
My neighbor has 3 snakes as pets. O.M.G. I am terrified of snakes, but my daughters LOVE them, especially D6. She holds them, walks around with them around her neck (calls 'em her 'snake scarf'). I have now held all 3 snakes, and wore them around MY neck, althewhile tinkling in my pants a little.
The other day, D6 said "Mom, I am so proud of you for trying something new". Yup. Worth the tinkle.
Wanted to comment on your comment on another thread. I really am thinking now, that like you, this divorce is worth the heartache. The paper gathering, the appt making, the assisting lazy H to do his part, the financial terror that is drowning me at the moment. All worth it.
I am so sorry about your triggers at your cottage. Triggers definately hurt less over time, but I think they will always cause a reaction for us, huh?
My cottage is my "sacred place" - the best place in my heart. When ex took maggot there (before I knew about the affair for sure), it just ripped me apart. Still think of it when I look at my stove despite the fact I got a new one. But I don't let it stop me from loving my place. I am so thrilled that I spent so much time fixing it up this summer.
Good for you for trying to tolerate the snakes. I am just not good at it. I look at a photo of one and feel my skin crawl. You are a great example to your daughters.
It is much easier to say "it was all worth it" when the dust has settled as it has for me. Going through it was awful. My heart hurt, I was nauseous, I worried about my financial future, I worried about my kids' psyches - I just worried about it all.
But we are good. My kids don't seem to have turned out with more damage than anyone else's kids. We live in a nice house. I don't worry each month about how the bills will be paid. And for the record - ex stopped paying CS 5 months ago (again) so I've decided to let it go -not worth the fight and we're still good.
While DBing I had to wear rose coloured glasses. I concentrated on all the good in my ex, blocking out the bad. And in my situation - there was a lot of bad stuff. Most of it was his crazy behaviour - the man clearly had a lot of issues. But I did my best to make us a good family and help him through it. Hope she is doing better than me in dealing with his craziness.
D is done. Don't see or talk to the man any more. I am free. It feels great! Of course - it is always easier when your kids are older and more independent - still - little kids, little problems, big kids - big problems.
You will make it. You will be better when it is done too. I found it took about 3 months following the D to really start to feel free. But my mother died the same week as the D so perhaps that affected my recovery as well. I had 2 things to simultaneously grieve. But I got through it.
Yes, a beautiful day is shaping up here. I got the cottage closed up! Josh was a great help. He didn't have much time - having worked on Sat. I ended up wallpapering more than I had planned to - was able to move the hutch alone. And made a nice roast pork dinner. He brought a Reisling and we ate soon after he came and then watched "What happens in Vegas". I'm not really sure what happens in Vegas (despite numerous trips there), because I slept through most of it. He laughed out loud a lot. Too much work or too much wine? Who knows.
Yesterday I summoned up the courage (and dressed WARM) and took the Seadoo out. It was COLD! Drove it to the marina where Josh met me and drove me back. We enjoyed the gorgeous autumn colours. It was peak colour w/e!
So much to do to close up. Cleaning. Emptying and cleaning frig and freezer. Cupboards of food. Put away all outdoor furniture on deck, beach and in gazebo. Solar lights and bbq winterized. Etc etc etc. He ended up doing most of the outdoor stuff while I attacked the frig, packed up my clothes etc. And now all that remains is a visit from the plumber who will also take out the dock. Brandon had done some cleanup and put away the canoe - so that helped.
I didn't finish the wallpaper but I did finish to a point that I know I have enough. That was the main reason I wanted to get as much done as possible. It will just be a day or two more and the springtime will be a fine time for that.
So I am content in knowing that I accomplished much this season. New bedroom carpet and bathroom laminate flooring. New bathroom cabinets and granite countertop, mirror and lights. New fan in living room. New white wicker furniture in my room. Sattelite dish and added tv in my room. New furniture in Ashley's room and Brandon's room now has mine. Fixed the falling retaining wall and put in new gardens that look great! Took down some towering trees, opening up the lakeview again. Painted my bedroom sky blue. I feel wonderful in achieving this much in just one summer!
Goals for next summer: 1. Finish wallpaper 2. New Frig 3. New wood floor for kitchen 4. New deck at dock with winch to remove and put in dock.
And now I need to start cleaning my house! I'm home for a bit - this is the time.
What's a guy gotta do to get a home cooked pork dinner from ya?!
If you like reisling(sweeter whites), you gotta try the demi-sweet French Colombard from Dry Comal Creek Winery in Texas. The Bulldog gives it two paws up! Google it. They might be able to ship it to Canada. No idea.
