anyone of you who would like to step into the middle of that room and grab my batchitt to keep then have at it..I'll gladly, give it up..Hell, I'll hand it to you. I'll even gift wrap it..
with a bow even..
and throw in some LandShark..
and advil for the migranes..
and bandages for the stab wounds..
LMFAO. You're the first to reply like that Mike. Funny sh*t man.
Originally Posted By: ndsmhelp
Originally Posted By: steady
Quote: If you're jealous of me you must be totally envious of nds.
OK...no talking about me behind my back.
You know, you and I seem to have the same problem...can't see the forest for the trees...lol. I get to ML with my wife, and would kill for some hugs, kisses and touching during the normal every day. I would faint dead away if I heard her say ILY....you get the talks, the affection, kisses goodbye, the ILY's, and want to ML.
We both miss all of the many positives that we ourselves write in our posts until someone points them out for us, although I think you are a little better at reading the temperature of your sitch than I am mine.
I guess we are both doing pretty good, and maybe it's time we started accepting it?
I just read your post on my thread and heading back in few to journal a little about the weekend...which was cool.
Keep it up STEADY.....you made up the user name, remember it...steady....slow and steady.
NDS
But you are totally right nds. We do miss the forest for the trees and I'm working on that every day. This place helps so much because the positives are always pointed out by the people who post on our threads - then they throw 2x4 reminders of how much has changed just for sh*ts and giggles - and of course, to keep us on the right track. Totally priceless.
I'm not so sure I'm any good at taking the temperature of my sitch. Although my MC did tell me at one point to stop taking the temperature so often. She said the long run is what proves out, not the daily or hourly analysis of the sitch. So I've really been working on that one also.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Had a nice day yesterday. I had the day off so I went to Sam's Club and the supermarket. I came home and cleaned the kids bathtub - my W had asked me to do this. I did some follow up calls for my job hunt and cleaned up around the house.
I spoke to my W while she was at work and told her what I got done for the day. She said, "You've had a very functional day." I told her I agree. She then said, "It's a lot better than vegging out and then realizing it's 3 o'clock and you've got nothing done." I said, "Yeah, that was the old me and he's dead now." I told her I had a good time getting everything done.
We were supposed to have MC yesterday at 4 but the counselor called me because she forgot the office was closed for the holiday. So we had to reschedule for Saturday.
This isn't a problem to me because things have been going very smoothly lately and there are no real pressing issues. So it will be about 3 weeks since our last session.
I called my W and told her MC was cancelled and asked her if she wanted me to pickup out S and D so she could have some time to herself after work. She said no thanks, it's nice out and she wanted to come home.
My W made dinner while my D and S and I put together a bookshelf for my S's room. They assembled one the other day so my S was supervising me on how to put it together. We finished it and then brought it up to his room. We then removed all the books from the oak bookshelf and my W and I carried it down to the front room. Then we put the books onto the new bookshelf.
We ate dinner then my W took my D up for her bath. I offered to do the baths so my W could rest because she has been feeling a little sick. She declined and said she could do it. After they were done I gave my S his bath.
I put my D to bed and went downstairs. My W put my S to bed and came down a little while later. We talked a bit and had some fun banter back and forth. A few laughs also. We watched a show on TV then went to bed.
Again my W didn't set the pillow up between us and she actually moved towards the center of the bed. We layed there face to face talking to each other for a while. Then said goodnight. Then she leaned over and gave me a kiss - something she hasn't done since our last MC session. So that was a nice positive.
I'll update more later on.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Sounds like things are moving forward and that you had a good day. Keep letting her set the pace and doing stuff around the house to help pick up the slack from your IL moving out.
The quiet room is a great idea and gives you, the kids and your W time to do stuff together that is outside the normal routine. And the kiss good night and the no pillow between you in bed means she is getting more comfortable with you and hopefully more intimacy will follow.
Thanks Tim. It does feel like she's getting a little more comfortable with me. There was no pillow again last night so I guess she feels she doesn't need it anymore. And she hasn't even mentioned moving into the other room.
Yesterday she was talking about my D being in daycare for this year and then next then after that we'll have $700 a month freed up. She said we'll be able to take nice vacations with that money - and she was pretty excited about that.
I got home last night and my W was really tired. She spent the day with the kids because they were all off for the holiday. We put the kids to bed and my W and I were in our bed by 8:30..lol. Both of us were exhausted. We watched a little TV then went to bed - normal everyday life stuff.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Yesterday she was talking about my D being in daycare for this year and then next then after that we'll have $700 a month freed up. She said we'll be able to take nice vacations with that money - and she was pretty excited about that.
Steady From my perspective, that's a biggie...talk about the future together. That is something I never get...maybe a slip up here and there with a "we" or an "us", but my wife completely avoids talk about anything that puts us farther out than an upcoming weekend.
No vacation or holiday plans, house remodeling, finances, etc. Although it has been fun in many ways, we have been living for the moment for 6 months now and I get a little frustrated with the future being so much in limbo.
From my perspective, that's a biggie...talk about the future together.
ignore the future talk..It's normal for them to do this. It's script boys..don't take it as a positve or a negative..future talk is what it is..just talk...
Yeah Mike I hear you. It's funny how many things were said and not done. I'm going about my stuff same as I've been doing the past few months. Taking care of stuff and improving all areas of my life - interactions, taking care of the kids , job search, taking a big load of the household stuff, keeping an eye out for my W's needs etc...
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
