how do you win them back when they want nothing to do with you, and quite possibly there is another guy involved and all 3 of us work together, wouldn't it be better to just move on?? I know this fling wouldn't last but still how am I suppose to want her back after all that? or do I just act like it doesn't bother me?
Do you think it'll be better if you move on? Sure, maybe you might feel a bit relieved in the short run, but is the grass truly greener on the other side? In retrospect, are things great after your first divorce?
Definitely act "as if" it doesn't bother you as best as you can.
Here's the absolute BEST thing you can do right now - go get yourself a copy of "Divorce Remedy" and "Divorce Busting" at Barnes & Nobles or Borders and read it. Most of what I've read about your situation is addressed many times over in those books. Read DR first.
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
I just ordered db yesterday, I don't know I would definately like to hang in there but if she is with tis guy I work with, who used to be a friend I just don't know if I can take it, I know it would not work out for them as I know both of them very well all he wants is a// you know . So I will get the book and digest it, I have been acting as if, because when we are at work I am more at ease it's after, the not knowing and I've been trying GLA. I actually feel better than I did a couple of weeks before, it seems as though everywhere I go there are nice looking ladies, not that they are available or that I am looking, it is just nice to be acknowledged, instead of ignored, one thing I have had to put in my head is this, she doesn't determine my self worth and just because she doesn't see the good in me doesn't mean it isn't there. In fact I have been doing many more things to become a better person that she will never know, cuz like alot of other have written, change for yourself and not for your partner, otherwise it won't be genuine, that is so true. we have to do this for ourselves and then our children and anyone else in relationship with us will reap the benefits, and to those who feel we are not worth the stuff on the bottom of there shoe, it is definately their loss,, just a little ranting,,, a little frustrated, but that's ok
If I could make a quick suggestion, I'd order "Divorce Remedy" as well and read that first before DB. It covers most of what's in DB but is a bit more straight forward and well organized. Best of all for you, there's an extensive chapter on affairs that I think you'll find extremely helpful in your situation. After you read DR, I'd follow it up with DB where Michele gets into a bit more detailed.
I think your mindset right now is definitely on the right track (about you changing yourself for you). I hope when you read DR and DB, you'll smack your forehead and wish you got them sooner!
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
