I'm new to all this and having read Michele's book i would be grateful for some help and advice to help me save my marriage.
Our story is as follows:
I am 30 yrs old and my wife is 24. We were married in the summer of last year and unfortunately have been separated for just over 2 months, my wife having moved back in with her parents.
We certainly had difficulties in our first year of marriage, caused by a variety of different things like getting used to living with each other, not having enough money etc but nothing i would view as being out of the ordinary in the first year of any marriage.
The main problem we did have and which ultimately led to the separation was that we would often ( about once ever 4-6 weeks) have period when we were not speaking to each other for a week at a time. Admittedly, although my wife was maybe doing things which caused me to stop speaking, i have to shoulder the blame for the periods of silence. Hwoever, through counselling and intensive reading I have realised how my shutting out of my wife affected her and how it would ultimately affect any other relationships I had in the future. I therefore resolved to work on these issues v hard and be a better husband.
Having gone to one counsellor my wife felt that she didnt get anything out of it and it was not what she expected. After 2 sessions she told me that she didnt see the point of it and saw no hope for us in the future. I am currently seeing another counsellor on my own to attempt to help myself understand things a bit better - my wife has offered to come along to support me but nothing else.
All through the last 2 months my wife has told me that she -
still loves me misses me wants to stay married but just cant wants to stay friends with me feels powerless to do anything about the situation scared to lose contact with me forever
Before reading Michele's book I tried all the classic attempts to reason with her, emailing, texting etc but to no avail. All through this period, although my wife continued to say she cd not get back together, she has still come over to visit at least once a week and we've had a great time together.
I told my wife a couple of weeks ago that I couldn't handle seeing her when i knew she didnt want to be my wife and that really upset her - the most upset I have seen her through the whole thing.
After having read Michele's advice, last week I decided to stop the pleading etc and say to my wife that I just wanted to stay friends as I missed her. I've been v upbeat on the couple of occassions we have seen each other but don't really know what to do next.
I love and miss my wife terribly - I feel so empty without her and think that to some extent she feels the same. I think however, that she feels backed into a corner a bit and is almost scared to change her mind.
I don't think all hope is lost but don't know what to do next and would be grateful for any advice anyone could give me.
