Breaking the Silence

[daisy282]

Hello

Last thread locked up on me. Here is the link for newbies to my sitch:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1580771&page=2#Post1580771

Anyways I left off with 5 (starting day 6 here) of NC with my hubby who about a week ago I was thinking I'd be moving into piecing with. . .

I am going to stay strong today and tomorrow and focus on getting a second job. However Wednesday morning I am going to break the silence.

Please throw any and all thoughts at me about my plan, which is more detailed and explained on my other thread.

Thanks everyone!

[Separated]

(((DAISY)))

You have remained very strong and you are doing great!! I know it doesn't feel like it but you are fine!! Wait until Wednesday and then break the ice very lightly. "Hey stranger just wanted to say hi"...etc.

We don't want to assume anything but based on what you have said he might just be scared to reach out fearing your lioness wrath!! LoL. Just give him the few extra days and then tread slowly.

[daisy282]

Thanks Sep

I just feel like crying all the time. I miss him like crazy and just want to tell him that I miss him. I know it would probably not do anything, at least not good. Because if he is not ready to reciprocate the feeling (anymore) then it would be a huge backslide and all my days of "patience" will have been for nothing. However I don't want him thinking we are really done and over with and going out and doing something stupid.

I honestly do feel that he is not reaching out because he doesn't want to deal with drama and that is probably his assumption. I've never flat out ignored him for this long. So he probably misses me but thinks that since it has been so long I must be really furious.

I don't know.

Can't I just say "I miss you"

Won't he think I am bi-polar, mental case if I just randomly say "hi" after a week of NC? That seems weird to me.

All I know is the more I wait the more desperate I am getting. I just want to talk to him.

[JenInVen]

Daisy, there's a reason this dark method works. Usually though it requires more patience than many of us have. Remember MWD says in DBing to make sure we have given each new "technigue" a chance to work.

[daisy282]

But how much longer does that mean?

[daisy282]

I don't want this past week to be undone but at the same time I don't want to wait too long and miss my chance at solving this.

[JenInVen]

I'm not the person to ask about NC Daisy. I haven't really tried it. The dim I have done made my xh more p!ssy due to having a D6.

I do think that he will contact you once he wonders about you. I think you might want to let it ride out for a while longer yet.

[daisy282]

I don't know. It just feels terrible.

I don't know how/when he will decide it is same to talk again. As far as whether or not he will take the risk if he thinks I will lash out at him when he does contact me.

I think the whole thing just makes me crazy because it was just one bad day after a couple of months of really good days. How can one day derail us this much? What does that say about our chances of making this work?

[daisy282]

The other weird thing is that he hasn't used his bank account since our beach trip. I checked it the other day to see what he has been up to (don't hit me!) and the last thing that went through was pizza he bought for us at the beach. . .

Suspicious!

[JenInVen]

Do you have DBing or DR? Why not go back over the chapter on backsliding and the section on the LRT.

The best you can do is take your mind off of H for now.

I think if you haven't heard from him by Wednesday then a simple "hi, how are you" text would be good...no "I miss you" texts