Hi T2L, wish you luck with the game today. Be a DB showstopper, let H look at you and say what was I thinking. And I hope your son's team wins! I was freaking out when I saw I could not get into the link. Hope others realize they are locked out. How was my night? No hurricane, it is actually quite nice out. Thank God for small miracles. Last night one of our friends that moved to China is here for the weekend. He called to take us out to dinner, H asked me to go also. It was a nice night. Friend complimented me on my new hairstyle etc. H was looking at me like he just noticed, a little out of fog. It's amazing when you are around positive people that you get upbeat. H was very happy and friendly. No depression at all. Friend kept inviting our family to China in June, asked me why don't you all come and I said well talk to H about it. He kinda put his head down. Today I got call from new friend to go out for a couple of hours. Said I have plans. H looked surprised. Later says to me you really look like you lost weight, you look really good. Shocking. He is playing golf today with same friend which hopefully will have good impact on him. Then tomorrow friend is invited over to watch the Dolphin game, H says to me if it is not on our television we will watch at sports bar - why don't you come? i was floored. He said friend is your friend also. Maybe because he knows he is moving out the end of the month he feels he could be nicer to me. But I will take it as a positive DB effect. I know yesterday H did not have any or little contact with OW but he is out for a haircut now, so will see. Hope marisol, JGrind, twinhope, sandi, and all the thread posse are doing well today. T2L I hope H shows up today. I hope it is a good day for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today. I know your S will want his Dad to be there also because it is a sport thing. Keep us posted.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope,That is positive stuff with your H. Everywhere we read it says to be PATIENT. Those are positive signs for sure. Don't be upset if he still is talking to OW b/c that is still going to happen. Just look at the good stuff!
T2L, hope everything went well with the game. please let us know.
My sitch has not changed. I really don't feel very positive today. I have my girls, someone in the old thread asked how old they are and they are 2 yr old twins. We had a good day they are napping now. I know I can't control this but whenever my H has the girls he is taking them places and the OW always seems to be there. Like a little happy family. It is killing me. I feel like he will never be able to miss me or our family when he has found a replacement. I really think that she is a void filler or at least I hope and that her 21yr old childness will start to annoy him. Anyhow, I have been doing a lot for myself. Going out with friends, new hobby of jewelry making. I keep very busy. I miss my H so much and I feel like he is moving closer to the OW. We have the wedding next weekend, I am so nervous this will be the first time doing stuff together since he left in May. Any suggestions on what to do or not do at this event. I am glad you started a new thread. I was wondering what had happened as well.
Me-30 H-30 M-6yrs T-14yrs Twin D's-2 Bomb-1/01/08 Left Home 2/01/08 (rented a room) Back Home 4/02/08 Left Home 5/08/08 (moved into own apt.) OW-21 5/29/08
T2L, hope the game is going well. Maybe we should send a message out to Jgrind, marisol and others so they find your new thread. Twinhope, how are you. Patience is killing me. It is one of my worst things. At work my job is to fix things through standard work so when things don't go my way outside of work it drives me crazy. My D15 went to a friends to sleep over. I went out with one of my new friends today and had lunch etc. My H called me and I did not pick up. Got home he was at golf, he called me about an hour ago and said I am done with the game and we are going out to eat, do you want to come? I said I am cleaning because they are coming over for the football game. I said thank you so much for asking me, I really appreciate it. He said well our friend is your friend too, so I did not make a big thing about it and said it was just so nice to have a good time last night and hang out so I appreciate it. Now I will see if he comes home after he goes out to eat since D15 is not here. I worry he will go out and get drunk again and fight his demons. Say a prayer for me... Twinhope, we all have those days. The more you write, the more positive I feel for you. 2 year old twins!!! Terrible 2's and a 21 year old...that must drive her crazy. You know how it is when you are in a new relationship and everything is wonderful and then slowly things start chipping away. 2 year old twins will be a huge impact on any relationship!!! Glad you are GAL, I find that the hardest, it will be especially important when he moves out the end of the month. I am starting to freak out. You are going to a wedding together??? First look beautiful, go out and buy a new dress, shoes, change your hair and makeup. Act happy, flirty and not just flirty with him! Treat it as a date even if he does not think of it as a date. Hang tight. I am sure I will be posting later, if he does not come home. take care everyone. stay strong.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Thanks Hope! That really helps. I know how my girls are with me, I hope they are the same way for him and the OW. I want them to drive her crazy! Not that they drive me crazy! She probably wants my H all to her self. Our 6yr anniversary is tom. I was thinking of sending him a simple text that just says I am thinking of him. I know I should not do it! I have all of you in my prayers. I need to practice what I preach when I say be PATIENT! It is sooooooo hard!
Me-30 H-30 M-6yrs T-14yrs Twin D's-2 Bomb-1/01/08 Left Home 2/01/08 (rented a room) Back Home 4/02/08 Left Home 5/08/08 (moved into own apt.) OW-21 5/29/08
t2l- You asked about whether or not our H always had pessimistic attitude? I have known my H since I was 15 and he was 17. I was his first real girlfriend. He had a tough relationship with his parents growing up and still does. He has always been an insecure person since Ive known him. As a matter of fact right before he walked out the door the night he left me he said "I always thought you'd be the one leaving me" He's been unhappy about alot of things leading up to all this - I just didnt realize I was one of those things. And I feel so , so bad that he was so unhappy with me. I never meant to hurt him or push him away. Cant remember who posted on last thread about their H asking her why she never asked him for anything after he left and felt like she was continuing to push him away even now that he's gone. My sobbing, pleading, and reasoning in the beginning pushed my H away more. But now I try to GAL, do not initiate contact, do not ask for anything, etc. It seems since ive been acting this way he's more angry. Is this behavior making him mad,giving him the impression I dont care and validating his feelings of "emotional neglect" by me? Im just trying to "let go" like he asked. The other day he made a comment about how he feels (didnt actually say IDLYA because kids were around) and stated he feels that way even more now. I guess no matter how I behave, his mind is made up. I hope the football game went OK today. Did they win? I was at D11 volleyball game this morning. I met H and all kids there cuz they stayed night with him last night. It is so hard. Just dont know how to act sometimes.
Hope3343- WOW! getting some nice compliments from the H. I would kill for that right now. Funny, H gave me a really nice compliment a few months before he left me. He is going to 20 year class reunion , had hotel room reserved and said "I just cant wait to go to my reuinon with my beautiful wife at my side". Now all I can envision is the OW by his side at the reunion.
twinhope- 2year old twins!!. S11 and D11 are twins (you mightve figured that out). My kids stayed with H at his house last night then I met all of them atD11 volleyball game this morning. Thought they would be home with me tonight. I was going to take them to church tommorrow morning, but H planned to have them stay with him tonight again. Told H I didnt realize they would spend night again tonight and wanted to go to church. He didnt really know what to say, so I said "nevermind, its OK just take them with you" The kids miss their father, and If he wanted to take them , I wasnt going to stop it. I can go to church by myself. As a matter of fact , after volleyball game was over and they all left together, I decided to go see a movie by myself (was not as bad as I thought- actually enjoyed it). Saw "The Women" About a group of close friends- one of whose H has an affair (I would have to pick THAT movie!) There is some poignant points but it is actually a comedy, and I left feeling empowered-that no matter what happens with my marriage Ill be OK. I will think of you tommorrow on your 6year anniversary.
me 36 H 38 S14 S11 D11
IDLYA bomb 6-18-2008 H left 6-19-2008 H confessed EA (probably PA by now) 7-04 and asked for D
Ok guys, I'm so glad we all found each other. Yes can someone find marisol and let her know where the thread is.
Jumping on to update real quick. I'll get back on in the morning to read all the threads and more updates.
So went to son's game. Was at a high school. H came. went on the other side of the football field(outdoors). I just happened to notice him-as he is the only idiot who has his T-shirt off in the entire Football stadium. So wierd. Ok when this 1st happened, he sent a text picture to my daughters phone. Of what you ask, a picture of him chest up with no shirt on. Ok he sent another picture of himself 2 weeks ago to her another shirtless pic. So MLC to me. He like thinks he's mr. male model. So irritating. Anyways we had no contact at all. He avoided me totally. Tell your opinion on this. All my friends who came to support me and my son, went to the other complete side of the stadium and hung out over there at least 3/4 of the time. In fact my H brother who came to was bothered by it. HE said Lea they should have came to support you and not baby him this was his choice. His own brother. What do you guys think? My friends say well we are trying to be cordial and maybe if we keep reaching out he'll come out of it. I told one friend no he's look at you guys and thinks your all stupid.
Ok really sick thing....I forgot to mention this one. In July he tells my 17 year old daughter to trade her car in. He says why don't you go buy a VW Passat. My daughter glares at him and says I will NEVER drive that car horrible people drive that car. You wanna know why. The stinking OW drives a Passat. Soooooo gross. He suggested to my daughter to buy a car the OW has. So like what?!?!?!?!!? I'm sorry but that's really weird to me. Anyways I don't know guys we have no contact and do not really see each other. Don't know how he's ever gonna want his marriage. I actually feel worse. I'm angrier. I haven't seen him since July. I had to actually look at the man who caused all the pain to me and my kids. Anyways I'll get on tomorrow afternoon Pacific time and read and update. At least its over. He didn't even try to speak to my son, instead he called and left a message on the home phone while we were driving home. My son says he does not want him at next game. He in his 9 year old glory says I'd appreciate it if you ask me first next time before inviting him. LOL...Night friends......
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Ok guys, I'm so glad we all found each other. Yes can someone find marisol and let her know where the thread is.
Jumping on to update real quick. I'll get back on in the morning to read all the threads and more updates.
So went to son's game. Was at a high school. H came. went on the other side of the football field(outdoors). I just happened to notice him-as he is the only idiot who has his T-shirt off in the entire Football stadium. So wierd. Ok when this 1st happened, he sent a text picture to my daughters phone. Of what you ask, a picture of him chest up with no shirt on. Ok he sent another picture of himself 2 weeks ago to her another shirtless pic. So MLC to me. He like thinks he's mr. male model. So irritating. Anyways we had no contact at all. He avoided me totally. Tell your opinion on this. All my friends who came to support me and my son, went to the other complete side of the stadium and hung out over there at least 3/4 of the time. In fact my H brother who came to was bothered by it. HE said Lea they should have came to support you and not baby him this was his choice. His own brother. What do you guys think? My friends say well we are trying to be cordial and maybe if we keep reaching out he'll come out of it. I told one friend no he's look at you guys and thinks your all stupid.
Ok really sick thing....I forgot to mention this one. In July he tells my 17 year old daughter to trade her car in. He says why don't you go buy a VW Passat. My daughter glares at him and says I will NEVER drive that car horrible people drive that car. You wanna know why. The stinking OW drives a Passat. Soooooo gross. He suggested to my daughter to buy a car the OW has. So like what?!?!?!?!!? I'm sorry but that's really weird to me. Anyways I don't know guys we have no contact and do not really see each other. Don't know how he's ever gonna want his marriage. I actually feel worse. I'm angrier. I haven't seen him since July. I had to actually look at the man who caused all the pain to me and my kids. Anyways I'll get on tomorrow afternoon Pacific time and read and update. At least its over. He didn't even try to speak to my son, instead he called and left a message on the home phone while we were driving home. My son says he does not want him at next game. He in his 9 year old glory says I'd appreciate it if you ask me first next time before inviting him. LOL...Night friends......
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Ok guys, I'm so glad we all found each other. Yes can someone find marisol and let her know where the thread is.
Jumping on to update real quick. I'll get back on in the morning to read all the threads and more updates.
So went to son's game. Was at a high school. H came. went on the other side of the football field(outdoors). I just happened to notice him-as he is the only idiot who has his T-shirt off in the entire Football stadium. So wierd. Ok when this 1st happened, he sent a text picture to my daughters phone. Of what you ask, a picture of him chest up with no shirt on. Ok he sent another picture of himself 2 weeks ago to her another shirtless pic. So MLC to me. He like thinks he's mr. male model. So irritating. Anyways we had no contact at all. He avoided me totally. Tell your opinion on this. All my friends who came to support me and my son, went to the other complete side of the stadium and hung out over there at least 3/4 of the time. In fact my H brother who came to was bothered by it. HE said Lea they should have came to support you and not baby him this was his choice. His own brother. What do you guys think? My friends say well we are trying to be cordial and maybe if we keep reaching out he'll come out of it. I told one friend no he's look at you guys and thinks your all stupid.
Ok really sick thing....I forgot to mention this one. In July he tells my 17 year old daughter to trade her car in. He says why don't you go buy a VW Passat. My daughter glares at him and says I will NEVER drive that car horrible people drive that car. You wanna know why. The stinking OW drives a Passat. Soooooo gross. He suggested to my daughter to buy a car the OW has. So like what?!?!?!?!!? I'm sorry but that's really weird to me. Anyways I don't know guys we have no contact and do not really see each other. Don't know how he's ever gonna want his marriage. I actually feel worse. I'm angrier. I haven't seen him since July. I had to actually look at the man who caused all the pain to me and my kids. Anyways I'll get on tomorrow afternoon Pacific time and read and update. At least its over. He didn't even try to speak to my son, instead he called and left a message on the home phone while we were driving home. My son says he does not want him at next game. He in his 9 year old glory says I'd appreciate it if you ask me first next time before inviting him. LOL...Night friends......
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Hey everyone, just need to vent some sorrow and frustration before I go to bed. Children are at H house tonight. D11 called me upset, wants to go home. Says she is "in trouble from daddy". H got on phone , said "I guess I know what you go thru now". said "D11 has been causing trouble all evening, she wants to talk to you." Tried to calm her down,she says brothers and OW sons dont like her (she locked them in attic and threw chicken bones at them and on top of H truck - to give example of some of her behavior tonight).Explained she cannot behave that way, must treat people how you like to be treated. Reminded her to pray and she said "we can pray on phone" OK, I said "lets pray on phone". Then she says "Mommy, daddy and OW are making fun of us wanting to pray - they're rolling their eyes!" (I guess they were in earshot of D11 ) Once again , 3rd time kids stay with dad, and 3rd time OW and her kids there. And for both of them to display such disrespect over praying toward my D and me is extremely hurtful. Tommorrow H is coming over without kids for us to discuss "our plans". I want to express my displeasure of how he constantly has OW over when they come to visit and the effect this is having on them. I want to tell him I will initiate therapy for them and when I find a good family C, I will inform him of day ,time and place. It is the least he can do for his kids. Very nervous about this visit, but trying to act "as if" it will be a productive one.
