Well, it isn't like a really moved anything, you know? I consolidated the contents of two drawers of a nightstand into one. I intended to tell her this evening, but she discovered it before I saw her, so that didn't work out so well!
I may have "made it up to her" a little this afternoon. I did some more weeding. She has done some today, a lot more than I did, but I did do a reasonable amount. And I started while she was not out there, so it wasn't like I was doing it out of guilt.
Yes GF, she is a control freak, and you are right, there is no way I was going to do it her way. And yes, she holds grudges, long enough that I can't even remember the original event. Good stuff, she forgets, bad stuff, she remembers forever. OR stuff that she chooses to see as bad.
I am seriously working on the room now! I can tell the difference, I think by the end of the week there may be some hope. The bathroom is going to be a pain, but it can be done. The closet is going to be horrid. It has a lot of shelves, and has been the place that accumulates everything from the moment we moved in to the house. Hopefully that means a lot of it goes straight out once I get in there!
I was thinking yesterday that I might take the opportunity while I am cleaning the room to rearrange the whole thing. Without saying a word about it first. I was thinking about this before one of you mentioned it. What do you think?
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 09/11/0812:45 AM.
Ok, I have a question. How did she "discover" that you had moved her stuff around?
I agree with the other gals that you should make the room yours. It will be very rewarding when you've accomplished that and I think you W will be shocked that you've decluttered. Maybe then you can help the boys work on theirs too??? You should be able to do whatever you like with the bedroom. If you feel like moving the whole room around then why not? It is your room.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
As far as how she discovered that I had moved things, she must have wanted a pair of socks from the drawer in question. I was surprised, I know that she hasn't put clean laundry into that drawn in ages, so she must have either wanted a specific pair or just run out, for whatever reason.
I think I will rearrange, I like the idea more the more I think about it!
(((((sg)))))
Uhhhhmmmmmm..... that sounds like fun! NOT! Good luck though! Much better to do that then to let something sneak up on you!
I don't think I'm trying anything her way? I'm not sure what you meant.
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 09/11/0804:27 AM.
Jeff, YAY!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!!As my son says, Do it up! Do the room, rearrange it, clean it, declutter it. Ok, sorry, I got really excited there for a minute. |
Let me know if you need any decluttering tips. Remember its just stuff. Memories are in your heart and head.
I think she went snooping Curiosity killed the cat as "they" say.
You know Target has a lot of great storage options from nice boxes to plastic containers in all sizes. You don't so much have to throw out stuff but store it properly. Of course you have to decide what to keep, what to throw out and what to give away. I'd start with all that clothes that is too big for you now. Pack it up and give to The Salvation Army or something since you're not going to be wearing it anymore and it'll make a huge dent in the closet and drawer space.
You could even make it a family thing. Tell the W and kids to pick out say 10 things they don't want anymore and give it away to a poor family or something.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Sounds like you're doing well. Working on organizing your life, I mean the room, is good stuff. You'll be surprised how things you change in the room might change things in your life.
When you stare at shelves full of stuff in fear, think of it as an opportunity to create a stage set. Have fun with it. Think about decorating a room with a pirate chest for spare blankets or stuff to free up closet space.
Discount stores are full of wicker baskets in many shapes and sizes that help organize in decorative ways. They aren't all girly. Some are darker and manly. As much so as baskets can be I suppose. I no longer have a desk with drawers. A work surface adjacent to a standing shelf tower works fine. The baskets on those shelves make it easy to see and grab all the things I used to have crammed into cavernous desk drawers. You can mix your own personal collectibles in among the shelf baskets. The largest basket on the floor gets all my paper recycle as I quickly fling through daily junk mail. It also helps hide the shredder behind it that gets the pre-approved credit cards and offers.
For a closet the same thing can work. Or, as others mention, clear plastic storage boxes and bins in different sizes let you see what was put in different containers. They get cheaper every day now. Of course if money is no object there is always the Elfa stuff at Container Store and RubberMaid copycat systems from Lowe's or Home Depot. Make the closet something you don't feel you have to hide behind a closed door. A manly dressing area!
Use this opportunity to express yourself. Use it to organize things in a way that will make it easy to stop future clutter from entering your life again. Make the bedroom a place you wouldn't mind hanging out in, even when she prefers to be in another room. Good for reading. Good for tv. Good window light. Try putting something at an angle. Maybe uplighting from behind a furniture piece. Consider mounting some floating shelves instead of nightstands, or above a dresser for extra storage and displaying family pictures.
Consider mentioning some of your ideas to her right before you do them, and let her know if the experiment doesn't work for both of you ... then you will study ways to improve on the first design. It gives her one chance to participate in a positive way if she wants to. Don't ask for or wait for permission to live your life. Not from someone who is not investing themself in it.
Keep making Jeff a priority and life a celebration.
