So here's an update on my sitch. I don't suppose I'll be posting on here anymore since my D was not busted after all. After going through numerous counseling sessions, it finally came to light that even though H and I still love each other tremendously (and probably always will), we have changed over the past year and a half to the point that we simply do not have the same goals for our lives and that our views on what's important to us no longer mesh. It's incredibly sad to think that 14 years of my life can be wiped away with two signatures on a piece of paper, but that is what is going to happen on Oct. 13. I think we'll always be very close friends and will always be there for each other. But right now, we both agree that we cannot remain in limbo and the best thing to do is to move on with our lives and see where they take us. And who knows? Somewhere down the road, we may find ourselves back to each other... I just want to thank everyone who has listened to me vent and who has offered their advice throughout my time on this board. Good luck to everyone - hopefully it all works out better than it did for me...
Me (WAW) 30 H (LBS) 31 T since 6/10/1994 M 8/8/98 No kids S 3/10/08 D filed 6/9/08; put on hold 7/14/08 D finalized 10/13/08
I'm sorry you've reached this point. I'm confused that you can love each other tremendously but can't find a way to balance your life goals. But if this is what you feel is best then you should trust in your decision and accept the consequences. Life turns on a dime and if we aren't open to the new, we'll never go anywhere. Although newness brings its own form of heartache, it's almost always worth the pain. Limbo is a horrible place.
It's so difficult to understand how you can love someone so much and yet not be able to be with them. It's all about trust - H doesn't trust me because of the way we separated and I don't trust him to change and be the person I need him to be. We've just never been on the same page with anything, even during the marriage. When I left, I asked him to give me the time to get myself sorted out, but it seems like when I finally decided I wanted to be with him, he suddenly changed his mind and doesn't want to do his part to make it work. So now I find myself getting extremely angry, almost to the point of hating him, because of all the things he didn't do when we were together and all the things he won't do now. So it's the hurt and the hate that keeps us apart... and I really don't see a way around that.
Me (WAW) 30 H (LBS) 31 T since 6/10/1994 M 8/8/98 No kids S 3/10/08 D filed 6/9/08; put on hold 7/14/08 D finalized 10/13/08
I asked him 1)to work a few less hours per week; 2)commit to attending family functions (birthdays, holidays, etc.) instead of working or doing personal chores; and 3)spend more on-on-one time with me. It didn't seem like I was asking a whole lot... :-(
Me (WAW) 30 H (LBS) 31 T since 6/10/1994 M 8/8/98 No kids S 3/10/08 D filed 6/9/08; put on hold 7/14/08 D finalized 10/13/08
