BFM is right. I am glad my H is living with OW. It makes me sick to think of it but I do not want him here too soon. I am sure she is going ballistic knowing he is coming to our house every single day of the week, which is why I think he has to check in with her now when he is on his way here and when he leaves our house.
Very juvenile but this is going to be fun.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I guess I cant get past all of the words I have heard spoken by them. How much they love each other. How right it feels. How he never felt that way with me. How he can be himself with her and she is his best friend and has been for longer than she has been his girlfriend. It seems like all their problems have centered around me....all their arguments have had something to do with me. Or so Im told. My H told me that she understands that we have to talk about the kids and that we are friends. I wonder if she really understands. So, when I am out of the pic completely I feel like they will be in heaven. What irritates me about this woman is the fact she acts like she has "won". She says stuff like I need to move on and realize its over. I need to let go and all that. The only thing I have that makes me feel better is the fact I know my H cheated on HER!! Lots of times with me in the past and HE still would! I know without a doubt if it werent with me, it would be with someone else if he had enough faith that person wouldnt tell on him.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
The words they say hurt, FW said the second time he left that "OW filled a void in him that I never could". She was his "soulmate". She "touched places inside him that I never did" BLAH BLAH BLAH.
His OW was also "understanding" that we had to talk about the kids. Don't believe it for a second. Sit back. Don't push, no expectations and let them live their lives. You know him, you know his track record. You know in your heart that this isn't going to work. You're not going to have to do anything except be there to pick up the pieces - IF YOU WANT TO. With your H, I'd think long and hard about that and I'd have to see some real changes before it would happen.
She says stuff like that because she's insecure. She thinks if you give up then she can have him. So, give them what they want. Your H will soon see that you aren't the problem.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
Thank you BFM, you dont know how much I value your opinion and advice. Hope you are doing well.
I know she is very insecure. My H has even told me that. I see this relationship lasting for a little while though. Maybe it will have to last a few years for them to finally fall apart.
I just hate that she acts so proud about it....I would be embarassed if I were her.
All I can think is what people thought of me, when my H would cheat on me. You know I knew deep down that he had cheated, but just never had any evidence, so It was easy to ignore. This OW has evidence and still wants in. Guess maybe one day, some jealousy might come around.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
You know MWG, My H calls me nearly everyday. He is the one who texts me everyday. She thinks it's ME doing all the calling and texting. Im sure she would be very surprised to see how he even acts around me. Very flirty most times. Im sure its only going to take once for her to pass the counter where his cellphone is and once when hes in the shower she will be tempted to pick it up and look at it. He will get comfortable enough one day to stop deleting things she wouldnt want to see. She will find it one day just as I did. He cheated on me, on her and to my knowledge other girlfriends, before we got married. I know it will only take time for HIM to mess up.
Im sure once the newness fades, her controling nature will abound! I know it will all take time. Most of there R already is one big text message!
Just sucks that I have to go through seeing them happy for now. Your right though BFM, I get to decide whether he can come back. You know I asked him recently on a down day of his, didnt he see how down hill things had gotten for him. That God would only cause his problems to get worse until he started living for him....he said he didnt see that.
Im afraid for him by what God is going to do to wake him up. I guess going 60 mph down a highway and having your tire fall off, not once but twice werent enough!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
You know Dar, Ive decided to completely leave them alone. Since i have been blamed for interfering, which is riduculas because my H mentioned me not talking to him for a whole month once and guess what??? They broke up...not because of me either, so I guess it will just take sometime. I told him if he kept it up they would end up breaking things off as enemies and not friends. Of course maybe that is what is needed....for them to hate each other.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I really wish someone would help me figure my H out. Its so confusing. One would think that if you have been kicked to the curb by the same woman dozens of times because of his assumed unfaithfulness, that this person wouldnt risk it again.
But I guess what they say is true. If you forgive someone over and over again for something, I believe you are just giving them permission to keep doing it again and again.
My H is giving up his place to move in with the OW. They have only been back together a few days. If she dumps him again, he will be on the streets.
Well, I went to pick up the kids this morning from him so we could go to church. I think if the kids would have gone out the door sooner, he would have had a quickie with me. I cant believe this. Has the man not learned anything?? I just dont get it....if you love someone so much like he says, why on earth would you keep taking chances to lose that person. I mean, it doesnt matter to me, it actually makes me feel great that this OW has no idea what she is getting herself into. Well, actually she does, She has been told more than once what kinda person he is, but I think she chooses to overlook it, or more like In denial of it because she has never had much proof other than people talking.
Well, she will get whats coming to her is all I can say. I just cant figure out what is making my H take a chance like this.
Anyone have a clue?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
k, It's called a "challenge". It's the thrill, the rush of doing something and maybe not getting caught. He needs the rush of the challenge to keep himself going. As for the ow, she most likely knows what he's up to and that's why he may be moving in w/her so that she can keep a closer eye on him.
Don't even try to figure him out right now, because he's one mixed up individual. It may take him being out on the street to get himself together. One would hope that this will not come to pass, but who knows.
Keep the focus on you and your children. Allow the ow to have him in the shape he's in.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
