My W knows I am trying to save our marriage. She told me tonight that she isn't going to, and that she doesn't want to. I can deal with that, I know where i stand now, it's not a good place but at least i know. But what do i do from here? LRT seems to be not right for what is happening, but i'm not exactly good at knowing what to do. any suggestions on other things to try?
t7-years m3-years Me:22 W:27 Wifes kids (love them like my own) D-10 D-7 Our Kids S-3
She told me tonight that she isn't going to, and that she doesn't want to.
They all say that in some form or another. Don't take stock in her words. It doesn't feel good but nothing makes sense coming from a WAS. Mine said the same thing only to suggest we "date" a few weeks later.
Continue to DB, If you don't feel LRT is right No problem, your choice. You want to act happy and upbeat, avoid R talk, GAL and work on your 180's. Most importantly do not persue, give her space and limit contact to times when you are able to act calm cool and collected...and happy.
Me:34 W:31 d's 5 & 10 M: 5 years, T: 8, Bomb1 3/8/08,#2:3/28/08 Asked 4 D:4/19/08, discovered PA 5/8/08,W moved out 6/30/08 W pregnant by OM: 2/17/08
She told me tonight that she isn't going to, and that she doesn't want to.
They all say that in some form or another. Don't take stock in her words. It doesn't feel good but nothing makes sense coming from a WAS. Mine said the same thing only to suggest we "date" a few weeks later.
Continue to DB, If you don't feel LRT is right No problem, your choice. You want to act happy and upbeat, avoid R talk, GAL and work on your 180's. Most importantly do not persue, give her space and limit contact to times when you are able to act calm cool and collected...and happy.
Thanks for the advice, she said something else though that i forgot to mention. She said that we have gone back to how we were before we got together. She contacts me and i don't contact her. Up untill now she has seen herself as running after me (didn't say it but it think that is what it is like). Is it ok for me to contact her just to chat, or anything, because I want to, it kinda seems like a logical 180 in a way, but it contradicts what it seems I should be doing? confused but does that work?
t7-years m3-years Me:22 W:27 Wifes kids (love them like my own) D-10 D-7 Our Kids S-3
I'm not one of the elite DBers but it seems to me that if she is telling you to initiate more contact that would be a green light to "try" it on a limited scale. You must be careful not to persue or put any pressure or do R talk.
I envision waiting a few days and then contacting her for once, have a good reason, and a game plan, IE be able to act as if. Also I think it wouldn't hurt to have a reason to get off the phone as well just in case things arn't going the way you want.
Remember to "listen" and validate...
It's your call if you want to try it. Then if you do you can evaluate the results.
Think on it you don't have to decide this "right now."
Good luck.
Me:34 W:31 d's 5 & 10 M: 5 years, T: 8, Bomb1 3/8/08,#2:3/28/08 Asked 4 D:4/19/08, discovered PA 5/8/08,W moved out 6/30/08 W pregnant by OM: 2/17/08
