Everytime I Start to Believe....

[Sugar and Spice]

Didn't even realize the last one locked. My threads are so boring now, but in the grand scheme that may not be such a bad thing.

(((Lost))) if I had tried to have chocolate anything I would have been hurtin' worse than I was.

(((H4H))) I'm not sure if he thinks I really have a problem or if its just done out of spite...is he a jackass? Oh yeah!

Is that a "Not that there's anything wrong with that" kind of partner?

Yep. He is a really good friend to me and has been through this whole thing.

My body feels better today, but my spirit doesn't. I just feel empty inside. I can't even explain it. I don't feel bad or good, just indifferent. Not sure why I'm in such a funk but I really have been feeling it the last couple of weeks. I just feel like I'm going through the motions...empty inside. I put on a happy face and do what I'm "supposed" to do but for what? It just seems so fake. I'm not even sure what I'm fighting for anymore.
I think I just need a break from everything.

[hopeful4her]

I'm first. Sweet!

You and me, kid. You know what I'm feelin'. You've been separated longer, but I feel ya'.

What can you do for yourself? Are you able to get out without the kids?

I mean not to a bar to dance the night away with a bunch of guy friends or anything like that. That would just be wrong

But something that you WANT to do. Take a girlfriend and go hear some live music. That does it for me.

Bear hugs to you suga. Hope you get out of your funk. Get happy, okay?

[hopeful4her]

I'm first. Sweet!

You and me, kid. You know what I'm feelin'. You've been separated longer, but I feel ya'.

What can you do for yourself? Are you able to get out without the kids?

I mean not to a bar to drink and dance the night away with a bunch of guy friends or anything like that. That would just be wrong

But something that you WANT to do. Take a girlfriend and go hear some live music. That does it for me.

Bear hugs to you suga. Hope you get out of your funk. Get happy, okay?

[hopeful4her]

My computer is acting jacked up!

I guess I was double excited to post to you.

Or maybe its because I'm on my 4th Dos Equis

[Sugar and Spice]

Or maybe its because I'm on my 4th Dos Equis

Probably that.

You guys are NEVER gonna believe this...

While I was typing my first post I got a text, from the Troll - here it is.

"I just want to apologize for all the bad things I said and done to hurt you and your family. And if you don't want the kids to have anything to do with my baby I don't blame you. I know this apology is not worth much but I'm sorry."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Here is our exchange. I replied:

"I appreciate your apology even though it doesn't change much. If my kids want to be a part of your babys life, I would never prevent them from it."

She wrote:
"Thank You."

I wrote:
"Your welcome. Thank you for what you said."

She wrote:
"Your welcome"

I wrote:
"Why are you saying this now?"

She wrote:
"Because I feel bad plus its been a really bad and emotional day for me. I really need to change my ways of life for my daughter now and the baby to come. All the bad things I said to you was out of anger you didn't deserve it."

I wrote:
"I hope you are able to make the changes you want to make for yourself as well as your kids. I also said some things to you that I am not proud of. Just so you know, I know it took two for all this to happen. H is the one that owed me better."

She wrote:
"I hope so too."

I waited 2 hrs and sent:
"You have my number if you ever want to talk."

Probably shouldn't have, but it was all so surreal.

Any thoughts?

[hopeful4her]

Holy crap, suga! It just doesn't end, does it?

It MUST have been surreal. I wonder what the catalyst for it was? Something between your H and her maybe? One thing is, the guilt finally getting to her.

I cant' believe she texted you. But I think I recall that ya'll have had exchanges before. Where they all bad?

It just seems to damn strange. I think, okay, what if OM texted me with something.

I think its a girl thing.

[karen43]

OK, that is too weird!!! You did fine; but you are probably way too nice! But I might have done the same you know!!! You were really positive and forgiving so I think that's always good. They do say try to keep your enemies close, and OP's kind of are enemies in a way to our Rs. But that is just surreal!!! How are you feeling today? I think it is interesting to find out that the OP's occasionally have a twinge of guilt or conscience or whatever... Karen

[lost_in_space]

(((S&S)))

WOW! Not sure if wine in face or a txt like you received would knock me over more!

You did well, and I must say, were waaaaaayyyyyy nicer than I would have been. That must have took some strength - which I knew you had in you.

But, be careful with what is in writing... (that's the suspicious side of me coming out...)

(((Hugs))) and

[Sugar and Spice]

I know you guys think I was too nice, but what point was/is there to being as bad a person as she has been? I was so caught off guard, I wasn't sure WHAT to say or do.

I'm just trying to conduct myself differently. I'm not sorry for anything I have ever said to her and if you reread what I texted, I didn't apologize, I said I wasn't proud of it and in many ways I'm not, but am I sorry? Nope, not even a little bit.

This really changes nothing for me, I just thought you all might trip out as hard as I did.

H had been tight lipped about why this happened, so whatever. Not my issue.

[lost_in_space]

(((S&S)))

Hopefully you weren't taking the comments as being a slam against how you handled things. My gosh, there is a high road, but your approach was HEAVENLY. Don't know how else to describe it.

I could not have been there.

(((Hugs)))