Cinders, I know it bothers you that he's being cold and indifferent, but you know what? That's the passive-agressive behavior talking. They get this way when we do not do what they want us to do. They are hoping that we'll feel so bad that we'll finally agree to do anything to get them to talk to us. Let him stew! He'll get over it and when he sees you aren't taking that bait, he'll come around again.
As for your children, they played hard today and had a busy day, so they went to bed. Your h needs to grow up and understand that kids do get tired and need to sleep/rest. His problem is that he wants everyone at his beck and call. Life doesn't work that way. He's out there having the time of his life while you are beng the parent and the mature adult. You have three little lives to watch over and quite frankly, I wouldn't give a fig if he were angry that they were in bed. You are doing exactly what you should be doing as a mother/parent.
When a door closes, a window shall open. God doesn't put us in these positions for fun. There's a reason for all of this and trust me when I say that something good will come out of your situation in due time.
Please take care of yourself. Don't allow his behavior to get to you. BTW, that's what he's hoping....you'll feel so bad that you'll run to him and agree to do whatever he wants. Don't fall for that. Time to do a lot of 180s!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I received an email confirming my reservation for 5 people for a theater show for something my kids LOVE to watch on tv. I figured that H must have ordered the tickets and the system still had my email adress as contact person. So I forwarded it to H, saying...
I think this is yours. It's still hard to know that I am not the fifth person. Have fun anywways.
He wrote back - (AND HERE IT COMES .....)
If you like I can order a ticket for you too and you can come with us !!!!!!!!!!
Right.....I truly think he has lost the plot.
I'm sorry, but that does not seem normal at all to me.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Oh Cinders...............he is like that child you just want to put pepper in his mouth and wash it out!!!!!!!!
Ignore it and flame away right here........we are here for you.
On the other hand, I wonder how uncomfortable SHE would be if you really did show up. And I wonder what his true colors would be like as well.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Cinders, he probably only said that because he knew you would never go. These me have lost all their marbles!
Hope your having a good day otherwise.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I've tried that approach before...last time this happened - you see it isn't the first time...
Nothing happened.
Nothing will happen, that's ok.
But you're right. Next time, short and sweet. Love you for caring !
In a way, he's loosing me faster than he realizes something is happening inside of me...I can feel it. Weird but one of these days....he will truly have lost me and I will have no regrets.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
No, nothing will happen. I don't expect him to come running back because he thinks he's lost you.
I didn't mean it like that. I do think, however, that over time, little by little things like that would begin to sink in with him.
You may never even know it, but they will. Subtle things over time make more difference than you can imagine.
I'm sorry he's acted like such an a$$ and that you are starting to feel your feelings slipping away.
I can totally understand it though.
it's definitely HIS loss.
Praying for you!
BFM
Yep, it MAY sink in over time....but I truly doubt it. He is in a world unknown to others.
He rules there.
It is a shame it may take years for him to see what the damage was....a lifetime wasted.
Yep, feelings slipping away.
I don't want to hate him though, I need to find a place where we can still communicate for the kids...
This marriage could have worked, beautifully even. It's a shame one of us couldn't see that. But I accept it, and I'm ready to face the new life ahead of me.
BFM, thanks SO MUCH, your words are always SPOT ON ! And as you know, I've always felt you 'get' me when I talk about H. Thank you !
No more frills to the mails. Short and to the point.
Hope all is well with you and favorite weirdo ! xxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
It is a shame it may take years for him to see what the damage was....a lifetime wasted.
Yep, feelings slipping away.
I don't want to hate him though, I need to find a place where we can still communicate for the kids...
This marriage could have worked, beautifully even. It's a shame one of us couldn't see that. But I accept it, and I'm ready to face the new life ahead of me.
Sister, you and I are in the same spot emotion-wise. I am thinking of you.
The theater tickets would have hurt me. And yes, I might have even chopped off a comment like yours. But BFM is right, short and to the point. All business.
You know, MIL said to me this morning "H will get to the point where he deeply regrets losing you." And I said to her "He might, but it will be very sad because it will probably be too late to turn back". She agreed. I know people mean well when they say "He'll regret it down the road", but that is just sad when that happens.
