Tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary. I have planed to go sark for a while but now I am kind of wondering what to do.
For a quick recap we have been together dateing and married a total of 9 years on Wednesday. She moved out 8 months ago and hasn’t really looked back. Her dad just got diagnosed with prostate cancer and she is taking that frustration out on me as well. I don’t want to miss a opportunity but I also don’t want to sabotage. Help
I'll tell you what I did for my 17th anniversary. NOTHING. I even saw him at our daughters softball game. I didn't mention it but went on with my self as if it weren't. It was tough but I lived. I made sure I had lots of plans with other people. He said NOTHING too. Now we had more contact than you because of kids, but honestly I figured he was the one that left if he had approached it I would have responded. A few days later after it had passed and he was being "ruder" in his communication with me I called him on it. I told him as the mother and his wife of 17 years why could he not have said something to me. I told him that his not asking about my school, my life seemed rude to me. After all he said "we should always be friends because of the kids". I told him friends ask about each others welfares. Well, he said I was right.....he then started asking those little trivial questions....how's it going, how's school..he made it a point.....he even started asking to get the kids instead of me saying "can you get the kids". That was always a sticky point for me.....ah rambling again.
I would say NOTHING, but that just my opinion. Think about why you would say something and think about the outcome. If she really isn't looking back, this won't make her either. But it might get her attention if you do nothing.
Now, she might come at you negative about not doing anything...I would calmly state...I understand how you feel that way, but I am trying to respect your boundaries. It doesn't have to be this way. END of conversastion. Unless, she turns to positive about it.
Good Luck
Last edited by sandycay; 08/26/0802:51 PM.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
That's hard. I know I did nothing for my anni this year. Your wife, at least in the past, has wanted you to persue her. I think it might piss her off if you don't acknowledge it. I think a simple text message on the day that says, "thinking about you today" is good. THAT'S ALL. NO happy anniversary, or anything of the sort. No dates, unless she suggests it. But, let her know that you at least know what day it is, and that you thought about her.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
It's my three year anniversary on Thursday, and I'm not going to mention anything. I did last week and got a somewhat surprised look from H, and no mention since.
I don't know your sitch, but do you know why your W WA? Just thinking that sometimes, if the WAS felt neglected in some way., a thoughtful gift with no expectations can be a 180. Just a thought, but it really depends on your personal sitch....
its hard bcause yes she did want to be persued in the begining, but latley when I ask her to do stuff she stands me up. I did used to be a real smuck when it came toour inportant dates. she always had a present waiting with a card and i always seemed to forget. so im tryinmg to do a 18o by noticing the date but i dont want to put " pressure " on her. so i figured I would just call and say " thinking of you. have a good day"
Tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary. I have planed to go sark for a while but now I am kind of wondering what to do.
For a quick recap we have been together dateing and married a total of 9 years on Wednesday. She moved out 8 months ago and hasn’t really looked back. Her dad just got diagnosed with prostate cancer and she is taking that frustration out on me as well. I don’t want to miss a opportunity but I also don’t want to sabotage. Help
i was in Portland that day I sent a text if i can recall saying hello hope you are having a good day or something like that, nothing more, the folks here helped me out with alot of advice
Let us know what you end up doing, and from a woman's standpoint, do SOMETHING. At least a quick text, so she knows you remembered.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I caqlled her and sadleyactualy hoped to get her voice mail. i said " Hey W i just called to say thinking of you and I hope you have a good day." I had made the mistake of letting her know about a cigar dinner thats coming up again in a previouse conversation, so i also said "the dates havent been set yet for the cigar thing, but I will let you know so you can go if you want to. anyway have a great day"
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
