How do I respond?

[Starshyne]

Maybe some of you have experienced this and can help me out. I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I am a divorced woman.

As many of you know, I am a teacher. School has started up and I am going by my madien name. I got divorced over the summer and kept very quiet about my marital problems that had been going on for most of last school year, so very few co-workers knew about it.

No announcement was made at work about my name being changed. However, the sign outside my classroom has been changed to say Ms. Madien Name. So I thought that would be enough. I am wrong. People are calling me by my married name and when I correct them, they seem shocked that I have a new name. Then I have to go into reasons why and I get embarassed all over again.

But the most difficult part is the kids. My students from the past few years will pass me in the hall and say "Hi Mrs. Married Name!" I don't have time to correct them because it is just in passing. When I did tell one former student that my name has changed, he asked me a bunch of questions such as "did you break up with your boyfriend over the summer?" I started to feel uncomfortable and told him that I had my name changed and that is all he needed to know.

How do I handle this? Do I just wait it out and hope that eventually everyone catches on to my new name?

[cat03]

" I had my name changed and that is all he needed to know."

I think you got the right answer, and eventually, hopefully SOON, they will all catch on, sorry you have to go through that!

[Sugar and Spice]

I think that is a perfect response. That sort of information is on a need to know/right to know basis.

People are slow...our WAS taught us that much. They will catch on eventually and in the meantime, you don't OWE anyone an explanation.

((((Hugs))))

[klm]

No, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

As for the kids, I am not sure what grade you teach...but it is hard for them to catch on to that and remember. My kindergarten teacher got married a few years after I had her and I STILL call her by her maiden name (my mom works with her is the reason I periodically see her). It is just hard for me to think of her with a different name.

It will eventually phase out with the kids and if it doesn't bother you too much then I would just not make a big deal out of it.

Adults are a different story.....correct them and no explanation is necessary.

As for me....I haven't gotten the nerve to change my things at work yet. Just not ready. I will be in my own time.

[shoeprincess]

I am slowly weening myself away from my married name. I had my name hypenated. maiden/married. So hopefully people will remember my maiden name. The thing that stinks is my maiden name is not common and people never pronounce it right, but the married name was short and easy. when people ask , just correct them. word will get around. Hold your head high and be proud of your maiden name! The WAS's should have the shame not us.

[Starshyne]

I am trying my best to get my name straightened out here at work. I am about to give up with my former students. They aren't going to change. Besides that name isn't my exhusband's name to them. That is who I am...their former teacher. I teach 2nd graders. The kids will be in this school until 5th grade, so I will have 3 more years of this.

Some of the teachers have made the switch and others have not. Correcting them is getting old. However, this is what I want so I am sticking with it until they get it right. I have been going through my classroom and throwing away anything that had my old name on it. Luckily it isn't much because I always wrote my initials on everything (and those stay the same).

I knew this was going to be difficult, but I didn't know how difficult it was going to be. I don't need to be embarassed, but nonetheless I am.

[ALL6785]

I think you should just stick with it and be consistant and soon students and coworkers will all adjust.