How about "My class was cancelled, would you mind watching D for a while longer tonight, I was thinking about going to see a movie".
I still think the whole idea is clingy even if he doesn't realize it.
I think a better approach which is probably a 180 for you is "Hey my class cancelled tonight, so I can take care of D tonight if you would like to go off and do something else" Show him you are secure and confident! (even if it will be difficult for you)
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
TD, I don't know. I'd feel very uncomfortable doing that. It would be a big 180 for me though. Although, going to a movie by myself at night would be a big 180 too. I know he wants me to do things and get a life so I'm torn as to what to do. And to be honest I'm tired of sitting at home alone.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I can see both sides of your delema. Which 180 do you think would make the biggest impact on your sitch.
The one were you GAL (honestly I think you have done a fair bit of that with the Hash's etc....but you know better than me)
or
The one where you show your H that you are comfortable and confident in him going off and doing something else (heck he might be so surprised by it that he might offer for y'all to get dinner or something else....though he seems a bit testy lately)
A third alternative might be to say "Hey my class got cancelled tonight, so I can come home early tonight to watch D if you have other things to do". After he responds you could follow up with "I have been needing a little break from the house, would you mind watching her one evening later in the week so I can go out and see a movie".....kid of like getting a 2 for 1 on the 180.
Jen,
You need to show him you are confident and don't feel the need to "control" or manipulate his activities. He needs to be free from this so he can come back to you
((((((Jen))))))
Last edited by TwinDad; 08/26/0807:46 PM.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Jen, I have been reading but not posting much. Sorry. I like what TD said. But if you dont feel good going to a movie alone, dont. If you want to go home and that means he brings her home early, do that. You cant control his life. If you feel like doing a 180 do it for you, not for him to notice. K
ok so he just called. Dilema solved rather quickly.... getting my pee hot over nothing
XH: Hey! Me: Hi! XH: Do you have class? Me: No, she just cancelled. XH: Oh, so I can drop D off before my class? Me: Oh, you have class tonight? XH: Yes, we have class today because R is leaving on Thursday for a week. yada yada yada about work and D... Me: Ok talk to you later then. XH: Yep, ok!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Ok to answer you're questions alternative 3 is the best option...I'll try it out next time.
K! You're so right. I have been doing the 180s for all the wrong reasons! I need to think about what I want and to tell you the truth reading and lounging around are fun for me. I love being lazy
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
