How are my DB friends doing? Yes, this is the "Fish." Thought you may be interested in hearing how my life has unfolded after stepping off the marital rollercoaster.
So here we go...
When my ex and I finally called it quits, I moved from one rollercoaster to another. I started seeing one of my wife's best friends and while we had some very good times, there were also some real challenges.
The key issue is that after coming out of a 7 year marriage, your objective is to have a good time. That is ok for a few months, but eventually your new partner will want more and most likely, you will have very little to give.
So at the moment, I still date my ex wife's friend, but the relationship has been tarnished it is very volatile. We have some very nice moments, but unless I commit to a serious long term relationship we will be completely done very soon.
I've dated a few other nice girls, but none have led to a serious relationship. As I said, at the moment, I feel I have little to give.
My divorce from my ex should be final this month. That has been a real drag. Constant bickering via text messaging - ugggh. Fortunately things have been better lately.
Recently reconnected with my 7 year old daughter and that has gone very well. I have come to the realization that my favorite thing to do in life is spend time with the little one. She is a real doll and she makes me very happy. She spent 5 days at my mom's place and we did a lot of fun activities - pool, beach, zoo. Lots of fun.
I am still crashing with a very good friend of mine as I have been unable to sell my house. Had an offer but the guy backed out because he was afraid he could not sell his house. Looks like I am going to have to rent my place until the market improves. Not the end of the world, but not a great situation.
Work pretty much sucks. As some of you know I am in tech sales and this economy has its' challenges.
So what have I learned...
* Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It requires tremendous thought and you must do what you can to ensure that your future spouse has your same core values.
* If you have children, make your marriage work. You fell in love, there is no reason why you cannot get back to that place if you both agree to make it happen. However, as in my situation, you cannot do it alone.
* Divorce is really tough. Financial issues, custody issues, family issues. etc etc. ---- It is brutal.
* I am starting to understand why therapists suggest that you do not date until 1 year after your divorce is final. Man, those bags can get heavy!
* Feeling sad and depressed during the separation and divorce process is normal. There are clearly stages during this process and lots of ups and downs. The downs really stink, but you will get through it.
**** This site is an incredible source of information and support. For those of you that are new, spend some time reading the success stories such as minkerman. It's not easy, but you can save your marriage, it has been done with the help of DB.
Well, considering you were a huge topic of conversation over the last week, it is interesting that you updated. I guess you still read the boards, eh?
Kudos to you on reconnecting with your D. Continue that, because right now, she is the ONLY important person.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hey Fish! Glad to hear from you again. I've been wondering what you're up to. Most importantly, I'm glad you have a relationship with your daughter and get to spend time with her. You're a wise person, and I knew that in the end, you'd make better decisions than what you were talking about when you left here.
Come visit us more often!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Come on. No one's interested in saying hi to our fishy friend?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Lola is the DB whore. She'll talk to everyone! I'm kidding . I love that you help so many people here.
Last edited by ms ladybug; 08/19/0810:34 PM.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
HAHAHAHA I do. I love helping because so many have helped me. So if that makes me the DB whore I accept the nomination with pleasure
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
. I love that you help so many people here.