Went to the lawyer's yesterday to look over the papers that STBXH drafted up himself (he doesn't want to get his own attorney). Like I told him when he first told me: no matter how intelligent and/or well intended you are, a don't believe a lay person can fill out the paperwork correctly on their own. There were HUGE errors all over the document. So he's coming over tomorrow after the kids go to sleep so we can hammer out the errors and reach agreement. I'm much better when there's a task at hand with him around.
The events of the past couple of weeks (girlfriend, her violent XH) have really just done me in. Perhaps this is just a natural swing of the pendulum, but sometimes I can't believe I worked so hard to try to keep him as my husband. I still know that it would have been better for the kids for us to be able to work out our problems and make a good marriage. But the more I look at him, unclouded by love and commitment, the more I dislike him. I still love the man he once was, but that man is long gone. I know what I want and he doesn't have it.
I deserve a man who's honest, committed, dedicated to his family, kind to others, funny, not materialistic, not judgmental, intelligent and cares about others. Especially me! My STBXH used to have a lot of these qualities but currently has very few of these things. I deserve better and I'm going to end up with better and I'll be better, too.
I'm in a good mood, can you tell?
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
KS, that's so true. I feel very confident that I tried everything I could and that's what I should have done. There's no regret there for me and I can rest easily and tell my kids that I did the right thing.
And, yes, those men do exist. There's one for me out there, I know it!
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Tomorrow's my anniversary and today he told me he filed papers, but wouldn't have them served on the 19th because that would just be rude.
This from the guy who used a pen from the company the OW worked for to do our paperwork while we were going over things together. From the guy who chose Mother's Day to tell me he was divorcing me and then kept my kids from me. From the guy who told me on my parent's 50th anniversary that he was moving out. I guess I should be happy that he finally chose not to be rude for once. Like he couldn't have waited two days? Jerk.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09