Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Mmmm..I love key lime pie. May I have a virtual piece?
Originally Posted By: JCJ
Also randomly when I was out with my friends the other week I must have arranged, while drunk, for them all to come round this Sunday and do my garden. I have no real memory of this but apparently I organised a BBQ and everything so I am now doing that on Sunday which should be fun.
A BBQ you can't remember-ha! Will definitely be fun though, and something to look forward to.
I'm really glad you're going to get to see your H on Saturday. I completely agree with taking some time off from thinking about him. He is all about HIM, so you be all about YOU and all the wonderful things about you. Keep thinking about all you have going for you, and how strong you have become over this last year. Strong enough to not expect or need your H to be any certain way when he comes over.
You could even try something I've been reading about to combat negative thought patterns:
Write down some of your negative thoughts, like "H is always so rude about texting me, thoughtless, etc." and then offer a rational explanation to counter them, similar to what Twin Dad posted to you. You're countering an irrational thought with what a rational observer would say (I'm not calling you irrational, it's just we all have these all-or-nothing, black and white thoughts that hurt us and aren't true--H is not always rude or thoughtless, he is sometimes, and only moreso lately because he is dealing with his own issues--it's not towards you).
Of course, since you're not going to be thinking about H, you can do this with negative thoughts that you have about yourself, too, and offer a rational argument to each of them. This exercise, if you're consistant at doing it 15 min at day, eventually is supposed to interrupt these thoughts, which are what cause us to experience negative emotions, low self-esteem, etc.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I know, I don't know how I am going to achieve this BBQ - I don't own a bbq! I shall have to improvise lol! Lola, you are most welcome and Lost you can have the second slice of virtual pie, the first is reserved for Virtually_Handsome as it is his recipe suggestion!
I always thought I was really rational and made perfect sense. I think this had a lot to do with my conviction that I was perfect and right before my DBing days. And whilst I don't think I'm all that a bad a person I do recognise that I have floors and also am also ruled by my emotions and have irrational reactions. I shall try that Lost, thank you. My self-esteem took a big hit this year, it might help.
I always thought I was really rational and made perfect sense.
Well, in yours and my world, texting someone back right away is something that you do out of common politeness. So, I understand how you feel--we share that moral code. In your H's world, that's not the case. He's got his own moral imperative and it's about him, which, if you view him through the eye of his illness makes perfect sense. Continuing's writings are along the lines of that, that the world shifts in perspective and priority for a time with an illness like that.
But the book's basic message is--why take other people's moral codes/thoughts/how they treat you personally? It's ALL about them, and only your thoughts/your interpretations of the world can ever make you feel sad, mad, happy. Someone else can only hurt you if the way they're hurting you is already in line with what you think about yourself, or what you are willing to be convinced is true about yourself.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Hi J! Thanks for checking in. I've been wandering about the wilderness for several days, camping with a friend. Its been a hard but good time. No real change relationship things but I'm still in the middle of overhauling who I am.
Two things: first, "bullocks" is not a cuss word in the US...spell away, haha. Second, being so hammered that you don't remember planning a party...AWESOME! LOL
I hope things go well at both the party and when you H comes over.
Again, no pratcial advice but I'm watching...
My Story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1512790&page=1#Post1512790
Continuing - replace the 'u' with an 'o' and you have quite a satisfying cuss word - I don't know if you guys have that one?!
Well, I am quite stricken with nerves about tomorrow. I don't know why really, it's stupid because it just builds it up into something and it is just him coming over to do DIY. It is the first time we will have spent any length of time together since the end of April though, I really didn't realise it had been that long!
I'm taking the afternoon off work today to go and enjoy the sunshine and get home and finish off the house and start making some food for the weekend. I'm really going to work on my PMA and try and get my nerves under control - I feel like I used to get when I used to do concerts. That feeling of having to get a performance right, which is silly because I am just going to be me tomorrow, just maybe a the slightly different version to the me I have been in the past year. I am going to be the me of 2006, only with hopefully a little more knowledge.
Strong enough to not expect or need your H to be any certain way when he comes over.
I am using this quote from Lost as my mantra and something I am working on. Then i am allowing myself another two hours off this afternoon from thinking about him. I know that might seem like not much to everyone but it is a huge amount of time for me, and if I make it past the two hours then hooray!
im sure someone can bring over a bbq or you can always make it stove bbq! you are very funny as well....