Oh Chris, I can so relate to the feelings w/ your D!!! When D23 was 6 she was out sledding w/ friends, ran into a building and ended up w/ 30 stitches in her head, (15 ps and 15 external) a lacerated spleen, bruised kidney, punctured lung, and on bed rest for a month! Of course, three days later I went to the hosp and she was jumping on the bed!!! Give your D a hug from me for being so brave!!!
Baby steps are always good, and it makes me happy to see the success stories w/ the DBing. I think you are doing a phenomenal job!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
OK. I'm excited. I took the plunge yesterday, and invited H to go on a hike with me and the girls tomorrow morning for Labor Day since we all have the day off ,and he accepted. Two social things in ONE weekend. WOW!
So we are meeting him at the canyon we like to hike in tomorrow morning, then after that he suggested coming back to the house and grilling for the holiday. So I'll have the whole day with him. I can't wait. Although I REFUSE to wear makeup and sweat to death while hiking, so I won't be at my prettiest, but I know he loves the physical activities so hopefully that will balance out my scary face in the morning! LOL
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Oh Chris that is fantastic!!! I am so excited for you!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
D is doing well. She got her stitches out today. She's doing well. It still looks pretty gnarly, but I'm hoping it won't scar too bad.
Well, I'm not feeling great tonight. No big negatives, but just a stall out that has me flustered. I keep saying I'm in it for the long haul, but lately, I just question "how long can I really do this for"? I just want to feel "wanted" again. Loved. Is that so much to ask? And no, in no way am I interested in anyone else, or would even consider looking for probably years. But gosh, in a way I feel like it's worse loving someone so much that doesn't love me back, vs. not loving anyone at all.
Ugh. Tomorrow is our 8th anniversary, and I"m dreading it. I know that's what has me going tonight. It's just one more "benchmark" that is coming and going and we are still no where close to being back together. He's still very much looking for a place to rent, and has informed me numerous times over the last few weeks that he is trying, but still feels nothing, and is a LONG way from coming home.
So of course with Fall in the air, now I have all the holiday benchmarks in my head. "will he be home by Halloween?" "Will he be home by Christmas?",
I'm just so tired of being tired.
And I have no idea how to handle tomorrow. He made it clear that no celebration of any kind of acknowledgement of it would be happening. He's coming out to see the girls (Thursdays are one of his normal days), so I'll see him, but have no idea how to act. Do I give him a card, a gift, anything? Do I avoid him like the plague, afraid I'll break down?
I have no idea.
I'm so tired.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Hey Chris...How did the hiking and grilling go over the weekend?
I don't really know what to say about the anniversary. Although if he said he didn't want any acknowledgement of the day then I wouldn't buy a card or mention it. If he does then it's ok to talk about it I think but other thatn that I'd say don't mention it.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I agree with Jen about the anniversary thing. If he told he wasn't going to acknowledge it and then you do I think he would feel pressured.
Hang in their girlfriend....I here ya on the "how long can I do this" thing. I think I've decided I'll do it until either he changes his mind about things or I don't care anymore...whichever comes first. I know it's hard for us DB'ers to imagine it, but it is possible we'll end up being the ones to move on with our lives. I can tell you one thing....I have learned a lot because of all of this and I truly hope I get to show my H what a wonderful W I can be and how great our R can be, but if that is not in the cards for us then I know I'm better for having had this experience and I WILL make someone happy some day. Again...I hope that someone is H.....
hi chris- how was your day? sorry to hear about your D...poor little lady!
please remember that you have made such huge steps....look at all your steps...dont let one day get you down...anyway- im sure it went better than expected!
hope you are well!!
xo P
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
