Hi everyone - I haven't been here in a while but I'm hoping to get a little advice. Ok heres my story My H and I have been together since we were about 21 years old, married for 7 years (I'm 39 years old)and have a 4 year old S. Anyway in March 2007 my H said he wanted a D, he said he didn't love me and never loved me. I later found out that he had a girlfriend, this woman is 50 years old (my H is 37) and she has grown children (1 is married)she is also bald and wears a wig. I dont understand why he chose this woman but he did. Anyway it seems like lately my H has been acting a little bit nicer towards me I mean he's been talking to me a bit more about work and other things. Also when he calls to ask me a question we have ended up talking for like half an hour. Maybe I'm just seeing things that I wish to be true. My question is could my H be trying to find his way back to me or is it just wishful thinking. Any advice would be great. Thanks for listening.
very One never knows if your H seems to be coming around and you are still interested in reconciliation. just let it continue allow time for conversations and practice being upbeat with him see where it leads keep expectations low H may be peeking out to see what he did or thinking wondering if your still there or maybe he is just cycling I would be available but at same time not Too much so continue on with your life sometimes maybe dont answer call also good luck
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Your H could be coming around. Just act kind to him and don't jump to any conclusions or have expectations. Don't jump at the first ring when he calls and end the conversation first.
Continue working on you because you are the most important in all of this.
My H did the same thing on and off for 6 months...when I finally "acted" like it was nice to hear from him but my life did not revolve around him anymore, he wanted to reconcile.
So I tried...and over a year later we are still building a better marriage. Yes, H did have OW but in my case she was younger. We went through all the filing and court proceedings and just when I thought my D was going to be final, H came back!
It is amazing how much the WAS needs the LBS when all of a sudden they realize they are not the center of attention any longer.
Try to take the focus off of your h. You need to concentrate on yourself. Your h could be in this mlc for a long time. It seems too soon for him to be making his way back to you.
In the meantime you need to work on yourself. Concentrate on your s. He needs you now more than ever. Give your healing time. Take it one day at a time. It will get better. Take some time for yourself as well.
Just saw your thread. We have a similar sitch. My H is 34, has an online other woman (OOW) who is nearly 50, married unhappily, with a grown daughter. He thinks I don't know about her.
I have a D, age 6. I believe my H is in a MLC, also said he's not "in love" with me, hasn't been happy for a while, all that jazz. If you want to read all the gory details, my thread is titled "Dealing with a Depressed Husband" in the Newcomers forum.
Get the "Divorce Remedy" book; it definitely helps. And do as other have said: Be kind your spouse (tell yourself that he is suffering and having internal conflicts) and put your focus on you and your son. Do things for you -- read, do a hobby, paint your nails, exercise. Play your little boy, have fun with him.
And come here for support.
M 39 H 34 D 6 M almost 8 years T 11 years Bomb: 6/5/08
