Hi all, A new thread for a new start. Title inspired by my writer sister..it seems so fitting. It's true I have all the choices in the world to fill my blank page. I've now completely re-booted my life. New city, looking for new job, temporarily staying with family. Distance definitely helps me move on away from sbtx. I moved to a much nicer city compared to where I was living w. sbtx, so that helps too. So much to discover here, I think I can start to heal now. It's fun exploring a great new place! Feeling anxious about how soon I'll find a job, though. Three staffing agencies have told me it's a 'slow market'. My birthday was this past weekend and I went on a trip w. my family to the coast which was really nice. Sbtx didn't even acknowledge my b-day over email or anything. (On his b-day shortly before I left I got him a small gift) Whatever, guess I shouldn't have expected anything. In fact, he's only contacted me once since I left to ask about a bill. At least he was thinking about paying it. LOL. Who knows WTF sbtx is doing. Hopefully, my life can be smoother now. Looking forward to meeting more people here soon! 5 Yr DBer "Joint" D in Progress
Last edited by New Path RJ; 08/10/0806:01 AM.
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
Former anniv today. First anniv since S and pending D. Some thoughts wondering what stbx is up to. Have many dreams w. stbx in them. I guess that's normal. Practically no contact from stbx since I moved out a month ago. Maybe it's best this way. Feel like I'm going through a "test" in my life right now, esp since I'm staying w. my family until I find a new job and I'm waiting for things to happen. Everything I own is in a storage unit. Of course, I really want to have my own place again asap. Here I am in the void, not knowing when, where or how it will happen. This is completely a time of developing enormous faith, strength and endurance for me.
Last edited by New Path RJ; 08/18/0806:11 PM.
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
The pain of this D is getting to me again. More dreams about stbx and if things 'worked out' and were just fine again. A romantic dream last night even. Help. I know that's not reality, but my heart is feeling broken- feeling the sadness and the stress of all this.. Stbx flat out told me he thought it was stupid if people got back together after a D was filed about a month ago before I left. There may be OW, I don't know. I'm halfway across the country, I know there's no basis for any piecing to happen. Only the 'dreams'. In my case, with hardly no contact w. stbx, I guess I am propelled to reflect on it this way. I know it's a 'clean break', but it still isn't easy nonetheless. 14 yrs w. stbx isn't easy to wash away. I am hopeful about my new life once it takes shape/form. Right now I'm in limbo land hoping for jobs to come through so that I can get a place of my own. Low day today. Ok- I'm ready to start serving drinks- what would you like? The bar's open!
Last edited by New Path RJ; 08/20/0807:29 PM.
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
So, tomorrow is my parents anniv- 42 years married and still happy together. Wow, isn't that pretty wonderful? My dad thinks the secret is to focus on being a great companion to your S. There's a lot of truth there. I am proud of them. Of course, I had hoped my M would be more like that. But, that's not really possible when the other half gives up. Been reading the 'Spiritual D' (Debbie Ford) lately, it's a good book for moving on and healing emotionally. I've read other Debbie Ford books before so this one particularly resonates with me. I had seen it before and thought 'I don't need that one, I'm not getting a D.' I couldn't even bring myself to pick it up until recently. But, I'm glad I did. Still working through this whole D/'Failure' issue. Also, really starting to miss things in my 'old' life- like my dogs (that stbx has). I may never see them again. I did take my cats with me (we had 4 pets together) which helps but I guess you can't help missing what you don't have.
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
. More dreams about stbx and if things 'worked out' and were just fine again. A romantic dream last night even
boy was I having TONS of those during the first months, the kind were we worked it out, when we ML, arrggh!! and I'd wake up with that nice feeling...then realized that it was not true. They will go away hon)))))) I totally hear you NJ, those dreams did not help me at all!! they are pretty much gone now, just keep on moving right along friend.
I'm glad you are reading the spiritual D, it is a great book, what will help you more is to take notes, get a little notebook and write down the passages that help you best.
Nice to hear that the new area is good on you hon, you are doing just great!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Congrats to your Mom and Dad. That is pretty amazing. You know I read once that real love is wanting more for your partner than you do for yourself. Sounds as if they must have known that kind of love.
Yes it's sad for us but it's not over yet and you WILL be happy again. You have to be ready and healed from your last relationship before you'll be ready for the next one. You're getting there!
Title inspired by my writer sister..it seems so fitting. It's true I have all the choices in the world to fill my blank page. I've now completely re-booted my life. New city, looking for new job, temporarily staying with family. Distance definitely helps me move on away from sbtx. I moved to a much nicer city compared to where I was living w. sbtx, so that helps too. So much to discover here, I think I can start to heal now. It's fun exploring a great new place! Feeling anxious about how soon I'll find a job, though. Three staffing agencies have told me it's a 'slow market'. My birthday was this past weekend and I went on a trip w. my family to the coast which was really nice. Sbtx didn't even acknowledge my b-day over email or anything. (On his b-day shortly before I left I got him a small gift) Whatever, guess I shouldn't have expected anything. In fact, he's only contacted me once since I left to ask about a bill. At least he was thinking about paying it. LOL. Who knows WTF sbtx is doing. Hopefully, my life can be smoother now. Looking forward to meeting more people here soon!
