Our daughter is visiting her dad,and O/W calls... my daughter sees it on caller Id.... now she is livid..wants to come home.... she still has 7 more days of being there....
I asked him why he did not tell his girlfriend that while our daughter was there for her not call.
He said he did told her that they could not talk as often and she said that is was fine.He told me that he never spoke to her while in the presence of our daughter...like that makes any difference... If he proclaims all this love for her why are they not together she still lives here in texas...he is in Ga.
it did not work out the first time they had an affair 12 yrs ago what makes him think it will this time.she's been married 2 other times has grown children maybe a 15 yr old still home...
I just want to cuss him out.... but the Holy spirit in me wont let me I really want to tell him exactly how I feel... how much I do hate him at times..how I hate he sees her as the love of his life....
I found out last nite from my daughter about the ongoing phone calls she was so mad at him..O/W I just want to talk to her and tell her that he still hasnt filed for divorce... I wonder how many lies he has told her.. He has lied to her before..and he ended bring her home with him for a week this past easter....I guess to make up for lying to her...
He lies to me all the time without even batting an eyelash but he has to comfort and reassure her that he is not lying...
How I wish I could tell her kids what kind of a mom they have...and I am so tempted to do so....I just want to die all over again...
have not felt this way in a very long time..since my walk with God has gotten closer... but I feel like lashing out and causing some damage... because to me you are messing with my childs feelings
she could waited till our daughter left.. she is there just to cause pain in our lives...
had to post feel better.... well just little..... I really thought God was intervening the calls and I felt it in my heart but I was so wrong...
will this ever end?????????????
Last edited by IRMAT; 08/07/0807:12 PM.
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
You are angry and we have been where you have but it is not worth it to call her or confront her. You would be giving her more power and leverage over your husband.
And if you were to do this, your H would run further away from you and right to her.
I know what is happening is not right but there is nothing you can do to stop your H from his lifestyle or what he is doing.
You can pray for him but please pull yourself together and concentrate on you and your family.
You will have to let your H be for now as nothing you say or do will matter at the moment.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I would highly recommend that you read the daily Charlyne Cares newsletters and also research the Bible verses she provides in those daily emails.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
S/F it just seems so unfair that the LBS has to be the one to endure all the pain all alone.........
I know calling her would do more harm than good...I just listened to a Charleyne Cares in the Divorce Radio and it was her story sermon was about 25 minutes long and what she said made me cry and got my hopes and faith right back up to where they were.
She said that "OUR SPOUSES ARE HEARING THE LORD EVERYDAY"... they are getting messages from God. So we need to pray for obedience for them.
I thank God everyday for letting me find this place and the Steinkemps website I wish all of us here that have not been there would go there.. it has been a blessing for me.
Last edited by IRMAT; 08/07/0808:14 PM.
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
I really thought God was intervening the calls and I felt it in my heart but I was so wrong...
God will not take away your H's or OW's free will. They have to choose to act upon the promptings of the Spirit. However, you can pray for the HG to speak to them. Still their choice, and you cannot control what they choose to do, no matter how painful to you or your daughter.
Pray for comfort, and patience (that's what I did every morning). Realise that the adversary is working hard to foil the plans of our Heavenly Father, and he may win this battle (depending on your H, of course). Don't let him win the battle for your heart because of your anger (although, it's very understandable for you to have those feelings, and they are righteous ... just don't allow them to destroy any good you have going for you now).
This is, of course, my opinion, and you know your sitch better than anyone. Remember if God is for us, who can be against us? Have peace in those words. Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I apologize if I sound terse with you but I feel as if you are spinning and you have to catch your breath.
Unfortunately none of the things your Husband does are within your control and for now you have to let him go, completely and give him to God.
You have been advised to protect yourself financially but you are afraid to do this because you think it will just make him angry and push him to file for a Divorce.
Unfortunately I think that anything you do will make him angry, especially if this is MLC. It's kinda like you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
As for your Daughter, she can ask your Husband her own questions and they will need to hash things out between them. Let her hear things herself from her Father, rather then you being the bad guy.
Kids are not stupid. They watch our every move and listen to everything we say. She will come to her own conclusions. But do not fill her head with anything negative about her Dad, she doesn't need additional burdens in her life.
Quote:
it did not work out the first time they had an affair 12 yrs ago what makes him think it will this time.she's been married 2 other times has grown children maybe a 15 yr old still home...
This confuses me a little. Your Husband had an affair with this same Woman 12 years ago? What was going on at that time?
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
You have been advised to protect yourself financially but you are afraid to do this because you think it will just make him angry and push him to file for a Divorce.
Never do anything out of fear! He will file no matter what you do or don't do ... your job is to protect yourself and daughter, financially, and emotionally. I agree that you should let your H and daughter work on their R, while you keep the negatives about H to yourself. If your D wishes to vent to you about her dad, then just listen and validate, but don't make things worse, by adding to the negativity.
I was also confused by the A 12 years ago???
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes she came into our lives 12 yrs. ago they had a 2 year affair with my husband.I found out because her SIL was mad at her and she called me at work.
I confronted him with it and he admitted it.He broke it off with her right in front of our home of course while I was watching with a bat in my hand..I did not know the Lord back then so I was prepared to do lots of harm... but she got in her car and left....
did not hear from her till now.. he got himself a Harley... bumped into each other while one of his rides and the rest is history.I babysat her child at one time like 10 yrs. prior
She has always been a thorn at my side all this time.. I always in the back of my mind thought that this would happen again.. Dont really know what was going on back them with us... he did always complain about the not having enough sex issue so I guess that was and has always been an issue... I cant figure out about the thread issues in here. I always stick to Midlife Crisis and pick new topic is that not correct?
Thanks, all you guys I am struggling alot this week usually I am not like this do lots of praying but maybe because she is not here with me I am feeling sad without her.Will keep praying.Keep me in your prayers as you are with mine..
Be blessed in Jesus name
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
