I agree, your EH puts on the "cold" front because of the guilt he feels. I know my ex treated me very business like for the first year. When her relationship with the OM cooled, she became warmer to me. As soon as a new love enters her life, she turns cold again. It's been 3 years and the pattern continues.
((Klm)) I'm with you on all the emotions. You will get past this in time, you seem like a really strong person. Don't forget that. It's good to let it out and to think about you feel, that will help you heal faster. I've had similar feelings lately too. I may not see my stbx ever again and yes, that feeling is kind of scary. Also, mine acted pretty cold and unemotional too once D proceedings started. I'm not sure it's easy to handle no matter how they act. I find the best way for me to detach is to change the subject in my mind and distract myself w. something else or to try to help someone else. Give yourself a lot of credit for how far you've come already!
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
I am still just kind of in a funk. I can't get my mind off of this for some reason. It is like I am back to feeling the way I felt when I found out about the first OW. I just don't understand how he can be in a relationship so quick. I don't understand how he could throw everything away for someone he barely knows.
I keep myself busy and I try to keep my mind off of it...but there seems to always be something that triggers it. I feel physically sick when I think about it.
I guess at this point time is the only thing that is going to ease the pain.
I am glad you are keeping busy. That does help as well.
Even a year later, things still happen which make me feel ill about the whole stitch. Last night it was OW (I assume) getting STBXH to join Facebook. I got this message that popped up going "You and [H] both went to UC Davis. If you know [H], add him as a friend." I wanted to throw $h!t at my computer lol.
(((Kris)))
Did you have your weekly dinner last night? How did that go?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
How are you doing today? I hope that you're feeling better and that you're planning to do something fun with your weekend.
Michele is right. No matter how much we heal, we still have those blue days from time to time. Maybe we always will who knows? What I do know is that eventually the hurt and the pain do fade. Sometimes now I can even remember certain times with some fondness, but when something does get me down, I think about it and let it go. It doesn't take up nearly as much of my emotion or life as it once did.
Besides, you're still grieving. This is a process but you will get to a place where it's not much more than a past memory. For me it sometimes feel like a lifetime ago.
I am doing ok. I just don't know what the deal with me is right now. I feel so depressed. A few weeks ago I felt like I was moving on and I actually felt happy. Now I just feel so sad.
Yes, I did go to dinner last night and I had a good time. The place I go to dinner...and where I hang out most of the time...is a private club. I like that because there is no chance of running into xh there. When I do out to other places I feel myself getting panicky about running into xh and OW. This is a pretty small town so I am thinking it is bound to happen sometime. I am so not ready for that.
This weekend should be fun. Football is huge around here and the club is having a pre-season tailgate party. Should be really fun. I am also going to go to a football game at my alma mater...Mississippi State...in September with the new guy. I am pretty excited about that since I haven't been to the campus in about 5 years. I have lived so far away that I haven't been able to go to a game since I graduated.
I am keeping busy and having fun....I just don't feel "happy". Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel that way again.
I am trying not to let the possibility of seeing xh out get me down. I can't let him run my life. I just hate living in a small town. It wasn't such an issue in TX....but here it really is.
I went to have margaritas with the new guy tonight.....feeling pretty good right now . I imagine I will sleep good tonight!
So I haven't gotten into the whole FB thing because I don't want to be bombarded with questions from people I went to college with....is there a way for me to get on and only have my DB friends see me???? I feel out of the loop .
. I imagine I will sleep good tonight!
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