Onward but not so Upward right now

[karen43]

On one hand I want him to understand that even though he was going things with our son, my home is my home. He left it and he can't treat my house as if he belongs there anymore. I have to set some boundaries with him but I also don't want to alienate him or make him feel like I resent him helping our son with things.

Tricky situation.

I think you shouldn't worry about alienating him or his feelings, but figure out what would make you comfortable. If his being in the house when you aren't there makes you uncomfortable, then I think that would be good for you to set that boundary. If it doesn't bother you or make you uncomfortable, then don't set that boundary. OMG, I can't believe I'm giving you advice on boundaries b/c I am horrible with them myself!!! Karen

[KPK]

Hi (((Mishka))),

I haven't posted in a couple of months- just trying to survive. I had to search to find you over here. I've read what's been happening and I'm so sorry. I just posted in Midlife, but I may be over on this board soon enough; nothing has changed at all with my situation. Good luck with all the L stuff.

Kelly

[mishka422]

Thanks for checking in on me Kelly!

I read your thread and posted there.

[mishka422]

Called my L's office to follow up on the agreement and her assistant told me she has been out of town the last few days in a trial. She didn't know if she had taken the paperwork with her or not. She was leaving her a message to call me.

I'm finding myself in a strange position. Now, no 2x4's please, but for the first time in 19 years I am finding myself attracted to and thinking about a man that is not my H. It actually freaked me out last night when I realized it! I never thought I would ever have a feeling of attraction again.

Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing and more than likely will never be anything other than friendship with this man. He's in my Thursday night group and he also is involved in the new business I have started. The things I do know about him show me that he has a lot of the qualities I have always admired in a man but that's all I know. I am not the type of woman men are naturally attracted to so I know for certain this won't go anywhere. Just weird to me.

I'm finding this to be such a strange feeling. It feels like I'm cheating on my H but, um, helllllooooooo....he's gone. Not coming back. Not giving an inch. Our D will be final as soon as we hammer out some paperwork. Why does it feel so weird to just be having a feeling that is not aimed at my H?

[One Day]

(((((mishka))))))

How exciting! What's he like?

No 2x4s from me- I flirt with CEO and VH, so I can't throw stones!

L. xx

[JCJ]

Mishka

Nothing wrong with a bit of flirting, it is a great way to give you a boost and it injects a bit of excitement.

xx

[mishka422]

He's a tall, handsome, super sweet, goof-ball. He's 39, has two kids (5 and 3), his wife was a total moron and left for OM. He has a good job, strong Christian values, and, oh yeah, did I mention he's really handsome (at least to me)?

He was at the presentation I went to last night and we ended up talking in the parking lot for a little while after everyone else had left. He made sure I got to my car alright, noticed that I had colored my hair (holy crap! There are men that notice these things?), was telling me how he hates having to get up at 4am to go to work because he's a night owl (me too), told me a little about his job which he thought probably sounded like a foreign language to me but then I told him that we are in the same line of work so not foreign at all, and he is completely enamoured with his children.

I really don't know any more than that but he's definitely great friend material if nothing else.

[JCJ]

Ah, he sounds really nice. have a bit of fun Mishka you deserve it! Flirtation is great, just keep it fun, you have enough on your plate at the moment.

[MichelleLT]

(((Mishka)))

Sounds like a nice guy. Flirting is fun, you should practice.

[mishka422]

Practice never hurt anyone.

I really have no plans to ever have another R with any man. I am just finding it weird to even look at another man and have a little flutter in my chest. That is weird.